much as Sayer wants to be the supportive big brother, have you fucking learned nothing from his experience?”
“Meaning?” I asked, sounding like a legit brat.
“Meaning Monroe’s ex-husband is a total dick,” he answered as if I hadn’t already known this. “Do you know how much easier Sayer’s life would be if Monroe and Thomas got along, like Andrea and her ex-husband did? Do you have any idea how much happier Leta would be?” With every question he posed, I felt lower and lower. “You stumble across a great kid, who can outmatch you in sports by the way, and he comes with a hot mother who is a good person, but stupid enough to like your dumb ass. And she gets along with her ex, so there’s no fucking drama, and what do you do?” When me and Sayer remained silent, he answered his own questioned. “You throw a fucking tantrum because you’re Nathaniel fucking Hayes, professional baseball shortstop, and America’s darling, and you can’t possibly imagine that anything wouldn’t go your way.”
“C’mon, Gid,” Sayer interjected. “That’s kind of harsh, don-”
“Harsh?” Gideon’s brows shot up. “Who has Nate ever had to be responsible for, besides himself, in all his life?” Sayer’s eyes cut my way. “That’s right. No one.”
“That’s not fair,” Sayer said, defending me, though I wasn’t sure I deserved it. A lot of what Gideon was saying felt like burning acid in my stomach.
“Do you want to know what’s not fair, Say?” Gideon challenged. “If Nate didn’t have Mom or Dad looking after him, he had you doing it. And if you weren’t around, he had me doing it. All of us, we’ve always made sure Nate was taken care of because he was the baby. It was our job to look out for him, and that is not something that I’ve ever regretted or resented.” Gideon looked back at me. “I love you, Nate. I love you, like I would take a bullet for you. I would die for you, if that was what needed to be sacrificed. You’re my brother.” He looked over at Sayer. “I’d do the same for you.” Returning those piercing blue eyes back my way, he said, “But never having been responsible for another person, be it sibling, wife, or child, you stood there as the judge, jury, and executioner on Andrea’s life and her choices.” He shook his head. “Don’t you see how fucked-up that is? This woman is still picking up the pieces of a failed marriage, while working with her ex-husband the best way she knows how, in dealing with the health of their son. And here you come along and tell her your interference in what she’s trying to maintain is no big deal. You tell her to get over it because it was just some minor fuck-up in your opinion. That’s-”
“Enough!” I couldn’t take his truth any longer.
“Is it, though?” he retorted.
“Yes,” I hissed. “I hear you, loud and clear, Gid.”
“Nate-”
I looked over at Sayer. “It’s okay, Say,” I told him. “Gideon’s not wrong.”
“He doesn’t need to be a dick about it,” Sayer bit out.
Gideon looked over at him. “I’m sorry,” he remarked, the sarcasm dripping. “Did you call me over here to cradle his balls while you stroked his dick?”
“Uh, okay,” I grimaced. “Can we not talk about my brothers doing anything with my dick and balls?”
Sayer shook his head. “Okay, can we get to fixing this, instead of placing unnecessary blame? Nate already knows he fucked up. He wouldn’t be here if he didn’t.”
“You fucked with her kid,” Gideon said. “You can’t fix this.”
My head reared back. “Seriously? You’re going to actually say that fucked-up shit to me?”
“Because Mom wouldn’t lose her shit or end up in jail if anyone fucked with any of us?” Gideon let out a dark chuckle. “They don’t call them momma bears for nothing, Nate.”
I felt like I was going to throw up.
I was in love with Andie. This mess proved it. I wouldn’t be feeling like my life was over if I weren’t in love with her. The second I had reduced her concerns to a sordid sex act, I knew I had crossed an unforgivable line. Sure, I’d been swerving outside my lane for a while where she was concerned-as Gideon put it-but that had been crass and uncalled for. Even I knew that.
“I have an idea,” Sayer offered. “But I’m not sure you’re going to like it.”
“What is it?” I wasn’t proud. “I’ll do anything, Say.”
“You’re going