a deep breath and sent the text.
Me: R u busy?
Steven: Just going thru some listings. Everything ok?
Me: Do u have a second 2 talk?
The phone rang in my hand, and I quickly answered it. My nerves were clearly messing with me, but that kiss had been knee-weakening, and I wanted to do it again. “Hello?”
“Hey,” Steven replied. “Everything okay?”
“Yeah,” I grumbled because I really did feel stupid. “I…” I took a deep breath. “Nathan asked me out on a date last week. And…and I want to say yes.”
He was quiet for so long, I wondered if he was going to say anything at all. Finally, he asked, “You don’t think that might make things complicated for Grant if it…doesn’t work out?”
I didn’t want to bring up old hurts, but as I spoke with Steven, something became painfully clear. “Steven, Grant aside, nothing in the world can hurt me worse than our divorce,” I told him truthfully.
“Andie-”
“No, just listen,” I said, interrupting. “Our divorce was extremely painful for the both of us, Steven. I’m not placing blame or taking blame or anything like that. But if we can still be cordial and civil and care for one another, for the sake of our son, I can be cordial and civil with my neighbor for Grant’s sake, if he ends up using me and dumping me.”
“Andie,” he growled, “don’t talk about yourself like that.”
“The point is,” I stressed, “even if it doesn’t work out, it won’t be as painful as getting over what I’ve already had to with our divorce.”
“He’s a professional baseball player, Andie,” Steven groaned.
“I know.” And I did. I understood Steven’s concerns because I’d had them myself. “But it’s just a date. It could lead to something, or absolutely nothing, but I want to find out.”
He was quiet for a few seconds before saying, “Okay.” I smiled. “Just be careful, Andie,” he added. “I know this sounds stupid coming from the one man who has hurt you the most, but I don’t want to see you get hurt.” My heart lurched. I wished all divorced parents could care for each other the way Steven and I still did.
“I know, Steven,” I replied. “Neither do I. But what does it get me to play it safe?”
I could hear him sighing over the phone. “Okay. Just keep it separate from his friendship with Nathan until you’re absolutely sure about where it’s going.”
“Of course,” I immediately agreed. That was a given with or without Steven mentioning it.
“Thank you for talking to me about this first, Andie,” he said softly.
“It’s no more than you deserve for giving me the same courtesy last year,” I replied.
“I’ll talk to you later, okay?”
“Okay.” I hung up, and a sudden rush of emotion hit me.
Even though it was over between me and Steven, dating someone new was just another step towards walking away from the life I once believed I’d always have. The arguing had been the first step. Steven sleeping in the spare bedroom had been the second step. Steven moving out of our house had been the third step. Me filing for legal separation had been the fourth step. Me filing for divorce had been the fifth step. Moving into new homes, leaving our old one behind, had been the sixth step. Steven going out on his first date had been the seventh step. And now, I was taking the final step by going out on my first date.
Well, I suppose that wasn’t exactly true.
The final step will be if Steven or I ever get married again. Now, granted, I wasn’t looking to get married ever again, but I wasn’t going to put restrictions on my heart, my love, or my life’s possibilities.
Getting my sentimentality under control, I headed towards the kitchen and peeked out the sliding glass door. Grant, Nathan, and Sergio were laughing at something, a joke probably, and they all looked happy.
Grant looked happy.
I walked through the kitchen and slid the door open. All three male heads turned my way. I smiled. “Having fun?”
“I’m being ganged up on,” Nathan retorted, and Sergio and Grant laughed.
“He’s got a point, Nate,” Sergio chuckled. “It’s hard to argue logic and facts.” Sergio put his hand out to fist bump Grant. Grant’s smile was a mile wide as he fist bumped a professional baseball player.
“Yeah, well, the kid still likes football better than baseball, so he can’t be all that smart,” Nathan grumbled.
“Hockey and baseball are pretty neck and neck right now,” Grant announced, and Nathan