I am, Leta.” She still looked a bit mutinous. “Like I said before, if you want to be upset with him because he broke up your family, that’s fine. But labeling him as a horrible father for everything else, is wrong, Leta. Yes, he made a selfish decision that impacted us in a huge way, but he hasn’t walked out on you. He left me, and only me.”
“I don’t know, Mom,” she mumbled, and I could appreciate her honestly.
“What do you think about counseling?” She opened her mouth to automatically object, but I stopped her. “Hear me out.” She gave me a tight-lipped nod. “I’m not talking about family counseling. I’m talking about some individual counseling with just you and someone you can freely vent to, who won’t judge or be clouded by their involvement in all this.” When she didn’t try to object again, I added, “And if you ever get to a point where you want to try family counseling, we’ll support you with that, too.”
“Even Dad?”
“I think if he knows that this is for you and not an attempt to attack his choices or make him feel guilty for those choices, he’ll be willing,” I replied, hoping I wasn’t lying to her. The truth was, I really didn’t know Thomas all that well these days. I wasn’t sure how he’d feel about the suggestion.
“Can…can I think about it?”
“Sure, honey. No rush,” I told her. “However, we really need to fix this soon. I can’t stand seeing you unhappy, Leta. It breaks my heart. It…it hurts to see you still reeling from something I’ve already moved on from.
“Speaking of moving on…”
I chuckled. “Mr. Hayes and I had a fight, Leta,” I admitted. “And whether we work it out or not, it’s going to be okay.”
“Do you like him a lot?”
I wasn’t entirely comfortable with this conversation, but I didn’t want to set her back by shutting her out. Besides, if family counseling did come into play, later down the line, I was fairly certain we’ll be having a whole lot of uncomfortable conversations.
“Yes, I do,” I answered honestly. I could admit that much even as angry and confused I was about the rest of it.
“Well, I hope it works out then,” she said. “He seems like a nice guy. And…”
I tilted my head. “And?”
Those sad hazel eyes were going to be my undoing. “And I liked the way he fought for you,” she said. “I mean…I’ve never seen that outside of movies I’ve watched. It was kind of intense.”
And it had been.
I also hadn’t forgotten how he’d told me he loved me outside before Thomas had walked up, suggesting we take our drama indoors. But the problem with being burned was that I wasn’t sure if Sayer meant it or if he was just trying to win the argument. It was an uncharitable thought, considering, deep down, I didn’t really think he was like that, but no matter how old the wound, that sucker was still there. And I wasn’t going to argue that it was too soon because I knew what I felt, and it felt a lot like love.
“Yeah, it was,” I agreed. “That’s why he and I need to talk. Figure it out.”
“Well, then me and Dad will get going,” she grinned. “That way you guys can figure it out.”
This kid.
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner, Leta,” I said. “I just really wanted to be sure before saying something to you.”
“I get it, Mom,” she replied. “I…I just want you happy, too.”
I grabbed her and pulled her into my arms. “I am happy, Leta.” Her arms were tight around me. “I’m promise you, honey.”
Thirty minutes later, Leta and Thomas were walking out of the house, ready to start their week together, and leaving me to deal with a cheating-maybe-not-cheating Sayer Hayes.
Lord, give me strength.
Lord, give me patience.
Lord, give me a goddamn drink.
Chapter 24
Sayer~
My life was officially an awful reality television show. Cue up the stubborn woman, the ex-husband, the nosey neighbors, the moody teenager, and a bevy of firefighters. Oh, and fucked-up nutjob who had a thing for firefighters. Can’t forget her.
Fuck.
This shit sucked, and I really wasn’t sure how much more I could take.
I had never planned on telling Monroe that I loved her in the middle of a neighborhood barbecue while her ex-husband stood by, their daughter looked on, our neighbor watched, and some stranger waited in the wings to ask her out, but that’s what happened.
Fuck.
My.
Life.
The worst part of it all