had been with Thomas.
Never. Fucking. Again.
“Get out, Sayer,” I said, stopping whatever bullshit apology he was on the verge of giving. “Get. Out.” I wasn’t sure what he saw on my face, in my eyes, but he gave me a tight nod and I could feel my lungs begin to function again.
His hand on the doorknob, he paused, his back towards me. “I’ll give you some space,” he said. “But we’re not done here, Monroe.”
I didn’t respond as he walked out the door. I mean, what was there to say?
No way was I doing this shit again.
Chapter 20
Sayer~
Can’t say I saw this coming.
I mean, I’ve fucked up before in my life, but nothing on this scale. Or maybe nothing’s ever mattered to me like this before.
After Monroe had kicked me out of her house yesterday, I had gone back to the firehouse and it was a good thing we hadn’t had any alarms, because I wouldn’t have been good to no one. I had fucked up and I knew it.
I also knew I had fucked up big time.
This wasn’t a little misunderstanding that could be fixed by a couple of beers and the willingness to listen. This was the aftereffects of me being a possessive asshole who had reacted to Thomas’ threats even after telling myself that he wasn’t a threat to me and Monroe.
Even after Monroe telling me he wasn’t a threat.
Monroe had put him below the rank of the sexy UPS guy, and I hadn’t heard her. I had felt threatened enough to go over to her house, fuck her like it was our last time, insult her intelligence, and criticize how she was raising her kid.
I was such a fucking asshole.
“Come on, man,” Kellen said. “She’ll come around.”
“I can’t believe I let that asshole get inside my head,” I grimaced. “I knew better. I know better.” We were sitting on the back of one of the trucks, all the guys knowing I fucked up yesterday. When I had returned to the firehouse, I wasn’t embarrassed to admit I had been a fucking mess.
“This is the first time you’ve ever been in love,” Kellen remarked. “Cut yourself some slack.”
I let out a dark laugh. “Yeah. I’m sure Monroe really cares about that.”
“Everett!” Leonard called for Kellen, so he slapped me on my shoulder and went to go see what Leonard needed.
My solitude hadn’t lasted long, though, as Daria’s voice hit my ears. “Trouble in paradise?” Again, with a station the size of ours, there were no secrets. My attitude has been mean and sullen, so that was a dead giveaway, too. And while my life was none of Daria’s business, even if Monroe and I were having problems, it was time to make shit clear between us since she hadn’t taken my earlier hint.
I stood up and looked down at her. “Look, Daria, I’ve never had a problem with you before. You’re a good station assistant and you know your shit. But I’ve already told you that my personal life is none of your business.”
“All that attitude just because I’m concerned?” she asked with false sincerity.
“No. Because you’re not concerned,” I corrected her. “You play up your act because you think there’s a chance that I’ll let you ride my dick, but there isn’t. Even if I did find you attractive, I’m not into open buffets. And since you’ve already fucked Carl and Jake, that’s a no-go for me. Not to mention you actually had the nerve to hit on Lance, knowing he’s married and very much in love with his wife.” Her face turned pink. “At the end of the day, whether I have a girlfriend or not, I’m not interested you, Daria. Quit embarrassing yourself and wasting my time trying to force something to happen between us, because it’s not. Ever.”
“You don’t have to be an asshole about it, Sayer,” she snapped.
My brows shot up. “Because I’m being honest? Because you have no problem dicking down the firefighters as long as we don’t talk about and you can pretend you don’t?” I let out a dark laugh. “If you’re going to be a slut, at least be a proud one, Daria.” She went to swing, but I was quicker than she was, and stepped out of the line of fire.
“You bastard!” she screeched.
I stared down at this pretty woman who was ugly on the inside and knew I wasn’t going to be able to work here anymore. As the firehouse’s assistant, she was responsible for our