eyes, an expression she rarely if ever saw on his face.
“What are you afraid of?” she asked him.
“I want it.”
“You want the house?”
He nodded.
“It’s okay to want things,” she said. “I’ve made a career of it.”
“Vow of poverty since I was eighteen. And if you think a vow of chastity is hard to keep…” He paused, looked away, then asked, “What if I can’t go back? What if I’m too happy here?”
“Too happy would be a good problem to have.”
“I’m not sure I should get to be that happy.”
“You fathered a child with a married woman, who you had permission to be with from both me and her husband. She wanted a kid. You gave her one. You didn’t rape anyone, murder anyone. You’d didn’t even steal. And you’re only suspended for one year. Even the Jesuits don’t think it’s that big of a deal.”
“There’s more to my punishment than I told you.”
“Ah, let me guess. Therapy.”
“Yes.”
God help that poor therapist.
“Spiritual counseling?” she asked.
“Yes.”
“Forty lashes?”
“You wish,” he said. “I have to attend Mass every day when possible.”
“That’s all?”
It wasn’t all. S?ren went silent for a moment, and Nora braced herself.
“I also have to present a notarized letter from Grace and Zachary stating that they want me to have no formal or informal relationship with Fionn.”
Nora stared at him, wide-eyed. “Are you serious?”
“In the old days, it was normal for the Church to keep a priest’s child a secret, to cover the whole affair up. Things are changing, as they should. If a Catholic priest fathers a child, he’s expected to leave the priesthood to be a part of his child’s life. If I’m going to be allowed back in the Jesuits, Grace and Zachary have to make it clear—and legally binding—that they don’t want or need me in Fionn’s life.”
“They’ll write the letter if you want them to,” she said. “It’s just words on a piece of paper. They would never stop you from checking on him, you know.”
“I know,” he said. “I think. But the time may come when he knows. How will he feel when he finds out I picked the Church over him? That I asked to be exiled from his life?”
“It’s only a piece of paper,” she said. “If you go back to the Jesuits, they’ll do what they have to even if they don’t mean it.”
“If,” he said. “Even you’re not sure I’ll go back.”
She tapped the toe of his shoe with the toe of hers.
“How are we?” he asked, meeting her eyes again.
A serious question, so she took a second before answering. It deserved serious thought and a serious answer.
“We’re good,” she said.
“Solid?”
“Rock solid.”
“You’re certain?”
Nora smiled. “You don’t think we are?”
“I keep waiting,” he said, “for you to finally get angry at me.”
“I get angry at you all the time. I was highly perturbed at you earlier today when I was horny, and you were not there to do anything about it.”
“Angry about Fionn.”
She knew that’s what he’d meant.
“We’ve talked about it a hundred times. Hard talks. Serious talks.”
“Talked about it, yes. Never fought about it.”
“I love Fionn as much as you do. If you’re waiting for me to be angry that you wanted a kid and I didn’t, so you found a way to have a kid without trying to make me into something I’m not? You’ll have to wait a long time.”
“Still,” he said, “something tells me it’s coming. Storm clouds gathering. I can see them. Can’t you?”
“Stop being so paranoid. You’re as bad as Kingsley.”
She tapped his toe again with hers.
“The next ten months will be hard,” he said. “If I’m going to make it through this, I’ll need you.”
“You have me,” she said. “And Kingsley. Unless you tell him you can’t accept the house. Then he’ll kill you, and I’ll help him bury the body.”
“How can I accept a gift this extravagant? I’d be in his debt.”
“Allow me to explain the submissive mindset to you, Master S?ren, because you clearly know nothing about it.”
“Enlighten me, Mistress Nora.” He waved his hand, indicating she had the floor.
“I know you think Kingsley gave you this house because he’s trying to coddle you or something while you’re going through a rough time. You’re worried accepting the house will throw off the balance of power. But that’s not how it works. I’ve had male clients give me tens of thousands of dollars in jewelry, vacations, cars…an Aston Martin…” She crossed herself as she spoke that hallowed name. “That’s what submissives do. They shower their