laptop, and I trust my carefully selected C-team to make the right decisions. But it’ll be nice to have someone give me the unfiltered version of what’s actually happening on the ground if I’m ever unavailable because of the pesky time difference.
Or like, say, because I’m in jail for getting in a brawl with my brother for landing me in this mess in the first place.
Oh, what, you thought I wasn’t going to mention it? You thought maybe I was in denial about this whole debacle?
I only wish I were in denial. I only wish I could forget about the fact that I’m about to move to New York City in order to move in with a husband I haven’t seen in ten years, all so I can divorce that same husband.
“Is he delicious?” Kurt asks, leaning forward, whispering unnecessarily since we’re the only ones in the office. “Is that why you’re leaving me?”
Wordlessly, I reach for my cell phone and pull up the proof. Some things are better shown than told, even if it’s the grainy, too-dark photo I’d snuck as Colin had paid the bill on that fateful night.
Kurt makes a purring noise. “Oh, my. Oh, definitely delicious.”
I shrug.
He lowers the phone and gives me a flabbergasted look. “He’s hotter than anything I’ve seen in recent history, my own spouse excluded. Why are we divorcing him again?”
“Because I barely even know him,” I say.
“What if you get …” He lowers his voice. “Investigated?”
I glance over my shoulder, then, to play it safe, I shut the office door. “You mean, how am I not in hot water for marriage fraud?”
He shrugs. “I’ve seen The Proposal.”
I smile. “It’s like I’ve told you before, it really isn’t like that. Or at least, it wasn’t for us. Thanks to my brother doing his homework, we aced the interview.”
Kurt’s blue eyes go wide. “Interview? How am I just now getting the full story on this?”
“Not as scary as it sounds. We just had to prove that we’d known each other for a while. It helped that he’d spent holidays at my house in the past and we had a couple of photos to prove it. Wasn’t hard to convince them that it was the age-old story of the pesky younger sister falling in love with her older brother’s hunky best friend.”
“And he convinced them that he was horny for his best friend’s hot little sister.”
“I guess,” I say with a laugh. “Regardless, they didn’t really seem to care. My brother says we didn’t really have any of the red flags they tend to look for. There was no major age difference. We’d known each other a few years, at least loosely. Overall, the guy interviewing us seemed happy enough to believe Colin was just a nice Irish lad who came over here for school and got smitten with his best friend’s sister.”
“But he wasn’t smitten.”
I snort. “Hardly. Colin was—is—well, he’s serious. Mostly he just ignored me, but if he ever did pay attention to me, I’m sure it was to roll his eyes at my penchant for purses and lip gloss. But he apparently managed to lie well enough, because nobody batted an eye. Thanks to you,” I say, blowing him a kiss.
Because me buying real estate in a different state from Colin would have been a big red flag, Kurt and Lewis had done me a major favor. Actually, favor doesn’t even begin to cover it. They’d bought me a house. I paid them back every penny, obviously, but technically, my home here in San Francisco is in their name, which means if anyone asks, I can technically be living in San Francisco part-time for work.
The arrangement was working just fine for everyone until my brother thought it would be hilarious to force us to live under the same roof and prove it in order to get divorced. Until Colin decided he wanted a divorce.
Men. Not on my happy list right now.
“So, in case I don’t get to tell you before this all goes to hell, I’ve already told Lewis that if you go to jail, he needs to pull some strings so that you’re incarcerated here in California. So I can bring you gift baskets.”
“I’m not going to jail, Kurt.” I hope.
“You might as well be. You’re seriously going to live with someone you don’t know? What if he’s a serial killer?”
“He’s not a serial killer. And I’m doing it because it’s time to close this chapter of my life. Past