mind.”
It was clear that nothing got past the Brazilian pastor. Grateful to be able to talk freely, I told him the whole story, from my father’s hopes for me as a boy, to meeting Penny, to the events that had led to this trip. David listened attentively.
When I finished, he steepled his hands together under his chin and pursed his lips. I assumed he was thinking. Then he nodded as though he had decided something. “I know you are wrestling with all this, Hayden,” he began, “but it is also a powerful testimony.”
“It is?”
“Of course. All your life you have trusted God to lead you, regardless of other voices. I have no doubt your father is right that God has a calling for you, but I also have no doubt that leaving Bible College for Penny was the right thing to do at that time. It certainly seems God led you in that direction, and you followed. And now you have a beautiful family. You should have no regrets.”
“Thank you,” I said, relieved. For a moment I felt like a young man again, desperately wanting my father’s approval, and somehow David’s affirmation soothed that old emotion.
“But,” David said firmly, “now it seems things are changing. Now God is leading you in a different direction. So, you have to ask yourself if you will follow Him.”
“Of course I will...but I don’t know what it is that He wants. I felt led to come here, but now what? And then there’s Penny...” I trailed off, frowning.
“What about Penny?”
“I don’t think she could ever be happy being a preacher’s wife,” I said with a sigh. “Especially now that she’s seen how my mother runs around after my father. They're very traditional.”
David chuckled loudly. “She thinks that is what a minister’s wife should do? I wish someone would tell Julia this.”
I grinned. “Yes, I suppose Penny does have some stereotypical ideas of what it might entail. But it would change things, wouldn’t it?”
“Is that what you want to do now? Return and be the minister your father wanted you to be?”
I shook my head. I didn’t want that. I never truly had. But what I was beginning to think I wanted would result in even more change. “No. If it were only me, I’d happily stay here. But I have a family and responsibilities.”
“I have met many missionary pastors who have small children. Your options are only as limited as you think they are.”
I thought about that, but becoming a full-time missionary seemed too huge a change, an upheaval that would alter all our lives. I couldn’t be seriously thinking about this after just two weeks on mission, could I? Self-doubt began to creep in. “I don’t even know if I would be any good at it,” I admitted.
“There’s one way to find out. Do the sermon in the morning.”
My mouth gaped. He couldn’t possibly be serious, but it appeared he was. “What? In church?”
“Why not? We like to mix it up sometimes and volunteers often give the sermon.” He slapped me gently on the back. “See it as part of your service here, Hayden.”
“But what would I do the sermon on?”
He shrugged. “Ask God.”
As I opened my mouth to protest, he stood. “I have to go. I will see you at supper, or if not, in the morning. Best be in the chapel early to prepare.”
He winked at me and then walked off, leaving me staring after him.
Hayden
The next morning, standing at the front of the Safe Hands chapel, I took a slow, calming breath as David introduced me and announced that I would be giving the sermon. I was beyond nervous and had slept poorly. My stomach had churned almost all night. Penny had surprised me with her encouragement. She’d seemed genuinely pleased that David had invited me to preach, which confused me. I did notice a flicker of something in her eyes that looked like anxiety, although it was gone as quickly as it had come.
When David finished speaking, he stepped aside to let me take my place at the small lectern. My hands shook and I could feel sweat trickling down my forehead. Inhaling slowly, I silently asked God to help me.
“Good morning,” I greeted the small congregation. Although there was a smile on my face, my voice wobbled as all eyes focused on me.
I took another breath. With God’s help, I could do this. Opening my Bible to Mark chapter one, I invited the congregation to do the same.