Anna.”
“Uh-uh.”
“Come on, darlin’. I want to see your pretty little face.”
“Fine.” Begrudgingly, I did as he asked, but kept my gaze above his waist. “There. Happy now?”
He grinned wide. “Sweetheart, if you keep twisting your fingers in your robe like that, you’re going to break them off.”
I settled my hands at my side. “Sorry. Nervous habit.”
Cowboy shook his head. “I just don’t get it. Why does seeing me naked make you so nervous? You weren’t this jittery when you were sitting on my face a few minutes ago.”
I gave him a stern look. “Do you have to refer to it as…that?”
“Well, what the hell do you want me to call it? It’s what you were doing…and you liked it.” He licked his lips and winked lewdly at me. I rolled my eyes and wheeled around to return to the bathroom, but Cowboy shot off the bed and clasped his hands around my waist, turning me back to him. “All right, I’ll stop, I promise.”
“No, you won’t. You’ll keep saying things like that because that’s who you are.”
He smiled at that. “Okay, probably. But I’m not trying to embarrass you. I’m trying to understand how one minute you’re a sex kitten and the next you’re like a virginal blushing bride on her wedding night. It just doesn’t make any sense.”
I shrugged nonchalantly. “I was raised by my stepfather. We didn’t really talk about sex, or anything else for that matter, openly. It was very much his household, and he never let me forget it, either. I always knew that the day I turned eighteen I would have to find somewhere else to live. That’s why I started working at the summer camp when I turned sixteen. I had to save money, but needed a job that didn’t interfere with school. When school started back up, I babysat in the evenings to help get me into my own place.”
Cowboy’s jaw tightened. “All because that bastard kicked you out?”
“I wasn’t his responsibility. After my mother died, he was nice enough to take me in and keep a roof over my head until I became an adult. It’s more than most foster kids get.”
“You don’t have to make excuses for him.” His voice lowered and his eyes narrowed. “What he did to you wasn’t right.”
“Maybe not, Cowboy, but I understood why looking at me every day was so painful for him.”
“Because you weren’t his?”
“No. Because I look just like my mother.” Lowering my head, I opened my mouth to speak, but nothing came out. So I tried again and managed to find my voice, even if it was a little shakier than before. “I reminded him every day of what he lost, and he hated me for it. That’s part of the reason I spent so much time at the library when I was younger.”
“It was a place to hide out…from him?”
“Yeah, I guess so.” I lowered my gaze. “Anything to make it easier for him to—”
“Goddamnit. What about him making it easier on you? You were just a kid.”
I glanced back at him and shook my head. “It doesn’t matter. My stepfather provided for me when I had no one else.” My voice cracked with the desperate need to make him comprehend the guilt and shame that overwhelmed me. “He lost someone he loved dearly—my mother—and it broke him, but he didn’t abuse me or anything.”
“Neglect is a form of abuse, Anna.”
I didn’t expect him to understand why my stepfather treated me the way he had. But since I was responsible for my mother’s death, I couldn’t blame the man for hating me. For years, I hated myself.
I sighed heavily. “I don’t want to talk about this. It’s in the past and it doesn’t matter anymore,” I told him, hoping to change the subject. “Why don’t you go hop in the shower while I run out and get my mail? I forgot to check it after you showed up yesterday, and I still have to get ready for work.”
He frowned, but didn’t press the issue. “I can go out and grab it for you, if you want.”
My eyes glanced up and down his nude figure and I plastered a grin on my face. “Not like that, you can’t.”
“All right, fine. I’ll shower, and you get the mail.” He leaned down and pressed a sweet kiss to the corner of my mouth and then turned and walked toward the bathroom, the muscles of his tight buns flexing with the motion. Within seconds, the water