to seduce her because he was what? Convenient? This just proves my point about Harlow. I can’t let myself go back to being vulnerable. I can’t give her the power to break me.
“Because I was sterile,” Claude explains, cutting through my self-reflections. “As a teenager, I had to have one of my testicles surgically removed after having testicular torsion. I was told that I would likely be infertile. When I found out Doris was pregnant, I wanted that miracle to be true. She finally broke down and told me the truth, pleading with me not to leave her. We went together to get my sperm count evaluated. It proved I wasn’t the father.”
“But you forgave her, right?” Sevyn heads over and takes a seat next to Claude.
“Not at first. My image with the company was what initially kept our marriage together, but I was bitter. I felt like half a man forced to live a lie while raising the boys I couldn’t give her. I forced Aldrich to relinquish any claim to you both, and in turn, I would give his children the life he couldn’t provide. Your mother felt abandoned by him and agreed to keep your real father's identity secret in exchange for trying to repair our marriage. That repair took years. You both were daily reminders of my ineptitude in the bedroom with my wife and my inability to give her the children she always wanted.”
Claude pauses for a moment to clear his throat. When he looks up at me, since I refuse to sit, a lone tear runs down his cheek. Something aches behind my chest, and I hate it. He doesn’t deserve our pity.
“I’ve since made amends with your mother, but it’s you, Phoenix, who I owe just as much of an apology to. You reminded me so much of Aldrich with your rebellious nature and no-holds-barred attitude. I was especially hard on you because you were him, my daily slap in the face. I never hated you. I just pushed you away because of the hurt I felt around you.”
“That’s such bullshit!” I yell. “Bullshit,” I say a little more softly.
“I know, son. The more I pushed you away, the more I hated myself. Although I didn’t know about this takeover you and Sevyn had planned, I knew you two were subbing in and out of the house. It took me a minute to piece together that you two had gone to great lengths to be identical in every way, but you can’t change your personalities. Not really. There will always be slips in character.”
“Then why didn’t you say anything?” I can’t believe everything I’m hearing. This is all one giant mind fuck to the nth power.
“Your mother needed you. If the only way you could be in the house was under the pretense of being your brother, then so be it. It allowed me to save face by looking the other way and not having to admit defeat. You were careful to stay out of my way as much as possible so I wouldn’t figure it out, which meant you were more tolerable. Now that my life is coming to an end, I’m able to see what really matters. I’ve made so many mistakes in my life. My adoptive father was a provider, but nurturing was never his strong suit. He was a proud man, and his image was everything.
“I wish I could do it all over again. I would put your mother first—never giving her a reason to look elsewhere. I would embrace my role in her adultery and be there for her and you two. I would have forgiven my brother years ago. Time is so precious, and now, I’ll never get that time back. I love you, Phoenix. I love you both.”
I don’t realize that he’s managed to invoke tears from me until they run down my cheeks. Damn him. So much time wasted hating him. I know I should be holding on to my disdain for him, but I feel it slipping through my fingers.
“What about the company? What happens now?” Sevyn tries to change the subject, but the quake in his voice is telling. He is just as affected as I am. We’ve been delivered one hell of a blow, and none of us are coming out of this unscathed.
“As I said, I had no idea about Phoenix’s and your plan to take over the company. I went to London to get my brother—to make amends and convince