The Perfect Arrangement (The Not So Saintly Sisters #4) - Annabelle Anders Page 0,41
their marriage under false pretenses. How could he expect her to uphold her end of their bargain?
“I might be able to arrange an annulment.” Or purchase one, anyhow. “I apologize for the misunderstanding.” God, and what a mild term that was to describe the poor communication between the two of them.
“Is that what you want?” Her voice sounded timid for the first time since she’d handed him that damn advertisement not quite two weeks ago. Only two weeks? It felt like a lifetime.
He’d almost been happy.
When he didn’t respond, she removed her hand from his leg. “What if I am already with child? You yourself admitted to me that the men in your family were quite potent in that regard. It’s not as though we only did it once. I lost count days ago—”
“What would you suggest, then? I hardly imagine you want to remain with a man who’s betrayed you so blatantly.” Her earlier words still stung. “Even worse, one whom you think ought to be shipped off to Bedlam.”
An annulment was not what he wanted, and yet, he did not want her to stay out of pity. He’d gone into this debacle of a marriage thinking them equal partners. He would get an heir, God Willing, and she the independence that came with widowhood.
“I don’t think you ought to be shipped off to Bedlam. You have reasons for believing what you do. If you hadn’t any reasons”—she shrugged—“perhaps then I might think you were dicked in the nob.”
He frowned. “I’m glad you find this amusing.”
But her expression was one of utmost seriousness. “Christian? I am not laughing at you. I am relieved to know you did not lie to me. Even more importantly, I am so very relieved to know that you are not suffering.” And then she added, “Physically, at least. It broke my heart to think of you in pain.”
“I am going to die, though,” he reminded her. He would not pretend otherwise.
She nodded somberly. “Then I see no reason why we should not go forward as planned.”
“With our marriage, you mean?” he asked, wanting to be absolutely certain. The two of them had already proven to be poor communicators, especially when one of them thought he or she was hearing what he or she wanted to hear.
She nodded. “To provide you with an heir.”
Christian studied her suspiciously. “Just so you are not going ahead with this under any false assumptions… I am going to die, you know.”
“We’re all going to die someday, Christian.” But then she pulled her lips tight. “But yes, I understand that you believe you are going to die sooner than most.”
“I don’t just believe it, Lillian. I know it.”
“Of course.”
They stared at one another, unspeaking for several seconds, almost as though they were having some sort of a standoff, until he eventually nodded. “Just so you understand.”
Her face softened. “I understand. But can I ask you a question?”
“Of course.”
“What happens if you don’t die? What happens then?”
Christian rubbed a hand through his hair and began tapping his foot again without her hand to still it. He’d not had much sleep the night before and neither had she. “We’ll worry about that in fifty years or so,” he growled at her.
And she didn’t really deserve it. The worst part of this entire morning was realizing that he’d fooled himself into thinking he could be happy in his last days. A seductive lie.
He opened the window between the driver’s box and the interior. “You may return to Master’s House now,” he shouted to the driver.
When he sat back, he felt her unhappiness as well. He supposed that was what happened when people tried to fool themselves.
They all became much wiser.
Chapter 12
I’m sorry…
Christian excused himself at the door to Master’s House and then disappeared, failing to return even for the evening meal.
Lillian understood. Their miscommunication changed everything. But it also changed nothing.
He needed time.
She needed time.
Could they get past this? Deciding to go forward hoping for the best, she took advantage of the remainder of the day to meet with and ask questions of Mrs. Drysdale, the housekeeper, Mrs. Boyd, the cook, and then introduce herself to all of the other servants. Although the town house was not as large as most country estates, it required a good deal of work to keep everything functioning efficiently. The servants had gone a long time without a mistress so Lillian stepped lightly.
And since her husband had yet to return, she dined alone with his sister, making