she’s a miserable person who made me miserable. Also, because I’m gay, and I’ve always been gay.”
He blinks but doesn’t answer, so I’m not sure he heard me. Or maybe he didn’t process my response. Honestly, I’m not even certain if he’s really hearing me, at this point.
It takes him a couple of minutes to say it. “Gay?”
“Yep.” I lean in closer, my inherited mean-streak from his side of the family finally coming out to play with him. “My college roommate,” I whisper. “He fucked me for seven years and I fell in love with him. Then, I ruined my life by not doing what he begged me to do, and that was to walk away from you when I graduated law school. Because I was scared of you.”
I wish I could say I was a bigger man. A better man.
I’m not.
It’s probably not what Jesus would do, but Jesus didn’t survive my father raising him, either. Terrorizing him.
Nowhere have I ever claimed to be perfect. Far from it.
“And fuck you, Dad. Fuck you. I got higher scores on the LSAT than you ever managed. I made a 179 but that still wasn’t good enough for you. Or is it you were jealous because I was a better student than you?”
I sit back in my chair while he glares at me. I mean, I think it’s a glare. He’s full of morphine at this point and his glassy gaze looks sickeningly grotesque.
Thank God I got Mom’s blue eyes and not his dirty hazel ones. He slow blinks again and I think maybe I waited too long to say it. Maybe he didn’t understand me.
Then, he finally licks his lips. “You’re not… my son. Disowning you.”
I snort. “Funny, my birth certificate says I’m your son. And it’s a little late to disown me now, asshole.”
“Leave.”
“No, I’m going to enjoy this moment and savor every fucking second.”
“When…I get out of here—”
“You’re dying, asshole. I’ve been lying to you. There is no experimental drug. There wasn’t anything they could do for you, so I lied and said what they were giving you was a secret treatment. It’s just morphine for pain management.”
“What?”
I snort. “I’m going to sit here and watch you die. They said you won’t last the night. Dying is the least you can do for all I’ve suffered trying to earn your love. But you never could love anyone but yourself and your reputation, could you? I wish I’d learned that in college. I would’ve walked away from you and faked my own death or something.”
He starts to reach for the call button and I lean over and move it out of the way. With the door closed, no one can see.
We’re being given our privacy because he’s so close to the end. I asked for no one to interrupt us last time a nurse popped her head in to check on us.
I smile down at him and drop my voice. “Fuck you, old man. I’m not running for a second term, I’m going to help the Democrats take the Senate seat, I’m getting divorced, I’m going to sell my share in your firm to the partners—as long as they promise to take the family name off of it—and I’m going to take the money I inherit from you and walk away with my lover and his husband. They love me. They welcomed me in. We’re going to have all the pervy gay sex we can. And we’re having sushi as many times a week as we want.”
Yeah, that last point’s ridiculously petty and I don’t even care.
Dad would probably be popping a vein if he was slightly coherent.
But he’s not.
Besides, I don’t know if that’s what’ll happen, anyway. That’s still all sky-high in the air because I don’t know what Liam’s future political plans are. Lots of rumors he should be lining up on the runway to take his own shot at the Oval Office. Maybe position himself as the most viable VP candidate for Elliot Woodley’s ticket when he makes his run for the office. Liam would have a ton of support from all over the political world and would be seen as a good balance to Elliot Woodley.
If Liam runs for VP or POTUS, then that effectively ends any hope of a romantic future for us. Just as he protected me throughout all those years, so I will protect him.
With my life.
I shake my head. “You murdered Mom. You know, if you hadn’t finally done me the favor