dripping from my mouth is said with reverence and sincerity that makes me nauseous and eager to see Darius’ blood pooling at my feet. This is just a play. This isn’t something that can’t be undone, and yet it feels like a betrayal.
My stomach rolls.
Rage stands beside me, wearing the same pink shirt and white shorts she wore earlier in the day. Her duties tonight include reluctant bridesmaid and witness. She looks bored, checking her nails and shuffling from one foot to the other.
Darius is wearing a dark blue suit jacket, jeans and a big, shit-eating grin. When he asks if we are ready, he sounds as if he’s asking us if we are ready for our coronation as the King and Queen of this shithole.
Percy and I nod and exchange knowing glances. Darius had shuffled him from the trailer earlier, and since then, we’ve had no time to talk about the ceremony or plan for what’s to come.
Escape wasn’t an option either. I’m sure that the reason why several high-ranking Reich members were trailing me and pulling me one way or another today was not because they wanted to help me with the dress and my bouquet, but because Darius wanted to ensure that tonight would go forward without a hitch and remind me that cold feet were not an option.
Percy recites his vows, and although I assumed he would act the part and be more enthusiastic, his voice is almost monotone. “I promise to hold order in my household and to be accountable for my wife. I promise to uphold the teachings of the Reich, and I vow to uphold the distinctions between races as our supreme being intended when he created the white man in his image.”
I tune out in order to hold my shit together and prevent my hands from trembling in Percy’s. The middle finger on my right-hand spasms, and Percy doesn’t draw attention to it. He simply holds it tighter in order to still the tremors.
“Are you ready, Michaela?” Darius asks.
I nod and force a smile. Darius states the words I am to repeat, and I do so without cringing outwardly, but only because I’ve practiced not cringing. It took hours of reciting the words until they became empty ones and my food stopped threatening to make a reappearance.
The vows are based on the original creed of the Klanswomen used by the KKK and the women of the KKK otherwise known as the WKKK. The Fourth Reich broke off from them because the KKK recruited women in the 1920’s by promoting this radical idea of female equality, and that was just too much for some of the men who generally didn’t like anyone being equal to them. Boom. The Fourth Reich was born. Or non-aborted.
Either way, here we are.
“I believe in the American home and understand that I’m the vessel for my husband. The one who will carry our children and ensure our family and the future of the Reich.”
Deep breath. No bile. So far, so good.
“I believe in the mission of the woman and my role in the Reich. I stand with my husband equally and therefore agree to submit myself to him and his knowledge for the benefit of our family and the benefit of the American republic and will dutifully fulfill my role as wife and servant.”
“I promise to protect our institutions the Reich supports and the institution of a supreme white America.”
After the last words leave my mouth, I bow my head. It looks as if it’s out of respect and being truly humbled, but in actuality, it’s because the bile has risen and I’m trying not to spew all over my dress because puking at your wedding is an all too obvious sign that something isn’t right. I’ve worked too fucking hard for my fragile system to give me away and give them reasons to ask questions I’m already trying to make answers up for just in case it comes to that.
I don’t even hear the bullshit Darius finishes the ceremony with. By the time I’m sure I’ve willed everything back into my stomach where it belongs, I raise my head and Percy lifts my vail. He plants a quick kiss on my lips before stepping back and allowing the crowd to clap and holler as he tugs me down the aisle. I guess it’s over. I’m both relieved and utterly terrified because the night is far from over.
I look to Percy who is shaking his father’s hand and