Jessie says when we’re seated at a Mexican place. I decided on it solely for the chips and salsa.
“Of course,” I respond, dipping a chip in the spicy salsa and popping it into my mouth.
Jessie takes a chip, holding it over her plate and snapping off the corners. “It’s just…” she sighs. “I need someone to talk to.”
“How many people live at your house? Twelve?” My tone is light, joking.
She musters the saddest looking half-smile. “Seven, unless you count Charlie and Peyton, but that’s only every other weekend. And technically it’s only Mom, Dad, Gramps and me at the homestead. Everyone else is in their cabins.”
I take a drink of my water. “That’s still six to eight more people than I live with.”
Her smile grows. “True. But you don’t live with my big brothers.” She stirs the straw around in her drink. “Or my mother.”
“Your grandpa seems like he’d be a good listener. And give some interesting advice too, probably.”
Jessie laughs once. I feel proud for already having made her feel just the tiniest bit better.
Our server comes over, we order, and I lean forward, tucking my cold hands between my thighs. “So, what’s going on?”
Jessie runs her hands through her blonde hair, gathering it in one hand and pulling it over her shoulder. “I’ve been seeing this guy. Eamon. I really like him, like”—she looks at me with intense eyes—“a lot. Like, maybe I love him.”
I smile indulgently, and I hope she doesn’t see it as patronizing. I remember that feeling in high school, and I don’t think there’s anything like it. Heady and overwhelming, it was all-encompassing. Of course, when I felt that way I was forbidden to go near the boy I liked. Which only made me want him more, and drove my dad crazy.
“Okay.” I nod, dropping the smile and adopting a serious expression.
“Well, it’s mid-April. Prom is in two weeks.” She implores me with her eyes, willing me to arrive at her problem using context clues.
And I do. It’s an easy leap.
“He wants you to sleep with him on prom night?”
She nods.
“And you haven’t slept together before?”
She shakes her head.
I absorb her frightened expression and take my guessing one step further. “And you’ve never slept with anybody before?”
“Yes,” she wails. The people sitting two tables over look at us. I offer a small head nod and equally small, reassuring smile.
“Hmm.” I fidget with my earring, thinking of what to say to her. This is Wes’s little sister. There’s a lot of pressure on me to say the right thing, and it’s possible Wes and I might not have the same opinion on what the right thing is in this situation. Something tells me he’d force a chastity belt on Jessie. “Firstly, are you looking for advice, or just someone who will listen to you? Because I hate when I get advice when all I’m trying to do is talk something out.”
Jessie takes another chip and actually eats it this time. “I need advice.”
“You should do what you want. And whatever you do, only do it for you. Not for Eamon. You only get one chance to have a first time. If this is how you want your first time to be, then go ahead.”
She leans closer, her voice dropping lower. “I don’t know how it all works.” She quickly amends her statement. “I mean, I know what goes where,” she makes an ‘o’ with two fingers on her right hand and shoves the pointer finger on her left hand through the hole. It takes everything I can do not to laugh, but given the serious look on her face, I know how poorly received my laughter would be. “I just don’t know how you get from fully clothed at a dance to naked on a bed. It all just seems so awkward.”
“Sometimes it is awkward. That’s just part of sex.”
“Even now? When you’re an adult?”
I shift in my seat, considering how to respond. The most recent person to grace my bed was Jessie’s oldest brother. I don’t want to say too much.
“Yes, even as an adult.”
The server places our lunch on the table and refills our waters. We thank him and he walks away. Jessie picks up her fork. “Is it awkward with Wes?” Her tone is forcibly breezy, like she’s just trying out what it’s like to be two friends chatting nonchalantly about sex. How do I tell her that won’t happen for a while, not until she’s been having sex long enough for