that could happen, never mind be something that I want so desperately it makes me long to go to her and tell her.
But I can’t.
There is no way she will accept it. She will reject the news and it will hurt me because she doesn’t love me. She doesn’t love any of us.
I have never loved before, but I know that I love the Demon Queen. It is fierce, full of passion and lust, tinged with a darkness that makes me sweat with the sheer rapture of it. I adore her. I respect her, even though I love challenging her and I don’t want to exist without her.
To me, that is love. If I’m wrong, then someone will have to explain it to me, but I don’t think that I am.
“Killian,” Devlin says, snapping his fingers in front of my face. “Does it mean something to you?”
“No,” I state and turn away from him.
“Then what the fuck was all of this about?” he complains as I walk away.
I ignore him. I have to think. The codex is an unusual beast. Don’t make the mistake of thinking it isn’t sentient. It changes its words to suit and more than once, Lucifer found himself struggling to keep up with it, as well as his son and grandson. But I’m as certain as I can be about the accuracy of this revelation.
Annabelle is pregnant with my child.
I felt a new power simmering under her surface when I gave her mine. I hadn’t been at all sure that she would be able to accept my power and use it. I think she only could because of the child. The essence latched on it and drew it in, handing it off to its mother to use.
I reach Elijah’s side at the same time that Annabelle and Gregory re-enter the room.
I try not to gaze into her eyes because I know that if I do, I will spill the truth to her and set myself up for a kick in the balls that will hurt me for an exceptionally long time. She needs to come to this realization herself and process it in her own time before she tells anyone else. I know this much about her.
“How do we know this will even work?” she mutters, trying not to look at Elijah.
“You have to try,” I say softly.
Her eyes meet mine and I can see the sheen of unshed tears in her eyes. I reach out to her and take her hand, lacing our fingers together. She nods briefly, but she doesn’t look at Elijah. She just holds her hand out to Shax. He slashes her palm and then his own, even though I saw it was already wounded. He holds her hand tightly and squeezes. They drop the blood into Elijah’s wound, causing him to groan and buck with pain as it hisses and sizzles.
We all wait to see if he will come to like Aleister did, but after a long time nothing happens.
“Shax, cauterize the wound with just your blood,” I say quietly.
He gives me a surprised look. It will cause Elijah more pain than he is currently enduring, but it will buy him some time.
“Do it,” Annabelle says quietly.
Shax hesitates for only a second before he pulls his hand away from Annabelle’s and reopens the closed wound on one palm and then cuts open the other one. He places his hands over Elijah and the blood drops into the wound.
Elijah’s scream of pain makes Annabelle gag and she turns towards me, pressing her face into my chest so she doesn’t have to see it. I wrap my arms around her.
“Enough,” I say to Shax and he shoots me a grateful look. I’d heard that he rather enjoys torturing Demons this way, but I guess when the Demon in question is involved with his sister, it’s a different story.
“He’s stopped bleeding,” I tell Annabelle.
She lets out the breath she’d been holding. “I’m going to look in the codex for a way to kill Lucifer and fix this,” she states and once again walks out. Her hurt fills my senses, but I don’t go with her. She needs to be alone. She will call us when she has something to say.
I just hope that is sooner rather than later.
Chapter 35
Elijah
I try not to groan from the searing agony that is coursing through my body with each breath I take. Everyone is standing over me, except Xavier. More importantly, except Annabelle. It hurts worse that she