better than good chance that was already happening.
THIRTY
Braelyn
I couldn’t sleep.
Not only was my mind restless, so was my body, a layer of chaos coating everything, making me feel out of sorts. Normally I would’ve thought it was stress induced, but that wasn’t the case now. No, this was due to my overactive libido. I was … horny.
Sure, I could remedy the situation with the trusty vibrator Tiegan had gifted me with, but I didn’t want it. I wasn’t interested in temporary relief. I needed something that would scorch me to my soul, and there was only one person who could offer me the satisfaction I sought.
I groaned.
When I had excused myself for the evening, I hadn’t exactly been tired, but I never expected sleep to be quite this elusive. I’d been tossing and turning for the past three hours and … nothing.
My thoughts continued to drift to Talon, to the way he had sweetly kissed me good-night when he walked me to my room. Part of me had hoped (expected) him to make a move, to talk himself past the threshold and into my bed. No doubt about it, I would’ve let him in, would’ve accepted whatever he was willing to offer. I was completely and irrevocably infatuated with him. My body craved his touch.
Unfortunately, Talon had been the perfect gentleman, kissing me chastely before walking away. My first reaction had been hurt. Ever since our argument at dinner and the subsequent apology, he’d been keeping me close but at a distance. As though he wasn’t sure he wanted me anymore.
Was he back at the party? Was he indulging in one of his own possessions? Were there others watching him do so?
I had no idea what Talon was into, but if he was anything like my brother, not much was off-limits.
And that was another thing I continued to fret about. My brother.
I knew he was considering this job offer from Talon. Probably leaning more toward taking it than not. And yes, he’d promised he wouldn’t do anything until we talked, but I knew him. This was a potential future for him. A good one if I had to guess.
What if Talon and I didn’t … I don’t know … work out? What if we went our separate ways? Could I seriously live on this island with him, knowing I’d never have him? It seemed like a lifetime of punishment, one I wasn’t eager to indulge.
Which meant I would be forced to leave. Now that Ransom seemed to be finding some happiness, who was I to disrupt that? I had seen him with Jasper earlier. I was pretty sure something was going on with those two.
What if I didn’t fit in here? Not just from a relationship standpoint. What if I couldn’t work for Talon? It would require I be immersed in this world that confused me still. I’d always heard the extremes of BDSM weren’t for the faint of heart, but I’d never understood what that truly meant. With every new thing I was introduced to, I was being schooled on the fact that I was still naive.
If I couldn’t find something to do with my time, a way to stay busy and earn my keep, I couldn’t stay here. It wouldn’t feel right. And going back to Chicago was no longer an option.
I exhaled my frustration.
With a sigh, I got out of bed. I padded to the door leading out to the veranda.
Stepping outside, I scanned the swimming pools, the surrounding areas. I didn’t see anyone.
Did that mean the party was over? Or maybe it was simply contained to the resort.
My gaze swung down to the kidney-shaped swimming pool. The water glittered a dark, inviting blue. I could slip down there for a little while. That pool was more secluded, discreetly masked by the surrounding flora, tucked beneath the large waterfall that spilled over the rock forming a grotto on the backside.
At the very least, perhaps some laps around the pool would tire me out, make it possible to go to sleep.
Because I didn’t have a swimsuit—the one I’d used yesterday had disappeared, probably to be washed—I would have to go without, but it was dark outside, and I seriously doubted anyone was going to be strolling about, looking to see if there was a naked woman in the pool. Not to mention, around here, it was par for the course for people to traipse around naked.
Wearing only the short silk robe, I slipped out onto the slate-tiled patio.