dragged into an insane world filled with crazy rich people.
“You don’t have to wear a seatbelt, Jade.”
“Like hell I don’t.” I pointed towards the front of the vehicle. “Do you know what happens if this thing hits something else?” I pointed at the seatbelt, and I tightened it out of spite and a healthy desire to not go flying through the barrier dividing the front of the limousine from the back. “Blood. A lot of blood. And glass shards through the face. And possibly a close introduction with fire and the engine.”
Sandro’s mother blinked. “Darling, Theo is a very good driver. He hasn’t had an accident in years, and even then, it was a minor one that wasn’t his fault. You have nothing to worry about. Do all residents of the Alley fear cars?”
I turned my ears back, remembered crossing my arms over my chest would hurt like hell, and refused to look her in the eyes. In truth, the first time I’d seen a twister fling a car through a house and the resulting carnage, I’d given vehicles of all types a wide berth. I appreciated not remembering much of the train trip. Had I been coherent, I likely would have spent the entire time before reaching the boundary concocting ways a tornado might mangle the train with me in it.
“Goodness. Next she’ll have me wearing one of the damned things.” Heaving a sigh, the woman shut the door.
The partition separating the front and the back lowered. “Don’t mind my sister, Miss Tamrin. She’s excitable. She’s been looking forward to meeting you for a long time. She was expecting a vixen, and vixens aren’t often sensible, so now she’s not sure what to make of you.”
“The sensible survive,” I replied. The sensible also didn’t get flung through the windshield if the damned limo came to a sudden halt.
“I wish you a great deal of luck with that. Sensible? In this family? Stephani’s eldest son is so inflicted with wanderlust we aren’t even sure if he knows his own address anymore. The next boy in line? A reformed drug addict who opted to become a stripper, and well, his mother just shrugs because who wouldn’t want to see such a pretty man naked? She is disturbingly proud over how she contributed to the existence of such handsome men.”
My eyes widened. Crazy rich people. Was their insanity contagious? Had Sandro run away from home in an attempt to preserve what remained of his common sense? Instead of whipping him into shape, I needed to help him escape from his family.
We could find somewhere nice to live in the West. Or the South, after we found those damned mages and beat the life out of them. Or anywhere other than in the East.
Sandro’s mother opened the door on the other side of the car, sat down, spat a few curses, and buckled up. “We do not tell that idiot husband of mine about this.”
“It’s a seatbelt, not the end of the world, Stephani. Marco might gloat a little, but he’ll feel better knowing you were safe.”
“Isn’t the whole point of a limousine to avoid having to wear the damned seatbelts?” Sandro’s mother complained.
“No,” her brother replied. “The seatbelt is to keep you from flying through the windshield should I have to hit the brakes.”
Why me? “Are there any other sons, and should I be concerned?”
“They’re idiots, all of them,” Sandro’s mother announced. “My kingdom for a damned girl! But no, since my idiot husband only produces idiot sons, I have to go hunt perfect daughters out in the wilds. This should be criminal. If left to their own devices, my sons will remain single until their dying day. And like it. They’ll leave their inheritances to their dogs and their cats.”
According to Sandro, his mother had married an uncontested courtesan, and while she called her husband an idiot, she smiled while doing it. “Do you love or hate your husband?”
“I absolutely adore the idiot. Marco. He’ll insist you call him Father, Dad, or if you’re trying to get out of trouble, Daddy. He’s weak when one of the idiots calls him that. My mother bought him for me just like I bought you for my idiot son. It’s a family tradition. Before uncontested courtesans, the head of the family made use of dowries, bribes, and arranged marriages. Mostly bribes. We’re obnoxious and easy to dislike.”
They were? Right. I dealt with a crazy rich person, and perhaps her brother was a little saner,