an uprising and then submitted early. Bothwell would have ridden out to battle. Bothwell never evaded a fight in his life. An apology would have choked him.
“And I am sorry to tell you that Lord Dacre has fled over the border to Scotland.”
“His rising is over?”
“It is all over. The queen’s army controls the North, and her executioners are hanging men in every village.”
I nod. “I am sorry for them.”
“I too,” he says shortly. “Many of them will have been ordered to follow their liege lord and done nothing more than their duty. Many of them will have thought they were doing the will of God. They are simple men who didn’t understand the changes that have come to this country. They will have to die for not understanding Cecil’s policies.”
“And I?” I whisper.
“Hastings will take you as soon as the roads are fit to travel,” he says, his voice very low. “I cannot prevent him. Only the bad weather is holding him now; as soon as the snow clears he will take you away. I am under suspicion myself. Pray God I am not ordered to London to the Tower on a charge of treason as you are taken from me to Leicester.”
I find I am shaking at the thought of being parted from him. “Will you not travel with us?”
“I won’t be allowed.”
“Who will protect me when I am taken from your care?”
“Hastings will be responsible for your safety.”
I don’t even mock this. I just give him a long, fearful look.
“He will not harm you.”
“But, my lord, when shall I see you again?”
He gets up from his chair and leans his forehead against the high stone mantelpiece. “I don’t know, Your Grace, my dearest queen. I don’t know when we shall meet again.”
“How will I manage?” I can hear how small and weak my voice is. “Without you…and Lady Bess, of course. How shall I manage without you?”
“Hastings will protect you.”
“He will incarcerate me in his house, or worse.”
“Only if they accuse you of treason. You cannot be charged with any crime if you were only planning to escape. You are only in danger if you encouraged rebellion.” He hesitates. “It is essential that you remember this. You have to keep the difference clear in your mind, if anyone should ever question you. You cannot be charged with treason unless they can show that you were plotting the death of the queen.” He pauses; he lowers his voice. “If you wanted nothing more than your freedom then you are innocent of any charge. Remember this if anyone asks you. Always tell them that you were only planning to be free. They cannot touch you if you insist that your only plan was escape.”
I nod. “I understand. I will be careful what I say.”
“And even more careful of what you write,” he says, very low. “Cecil is a man for written records. Never put your name to anything he can name as treason. He will be watching your letters. Never receive and never write anything that threatens the safety of the queen.”
I nod. There is a silence.
“But what is the truth?” Shrewsbury asks. “Now that it is all over, did you plot with the Northern lords?”
I let him see my gleam of amusement. “Of course I did. What else is there for me to do?”
“It is not a game!” He turns irritably. “They are in exile, one of them charged with treason, and hundreds of men will die.”
“We might have won,” I say stubbornly. “It was so close. You know it yourself; you thought we would win. There was a chance. You don’t understand me, Chowsbewwy. I have to be free.”
“There was a great chance. I see that. But you lost,” he says heavily. “And the seven hundred men who must die have lost, and the Northern lords who will be executed or exiled have lost, and the greatest duke in England, fighting for his life and his good name, has lost…and I have lost you.”
I rise and stand beside him. If he turned his head now he would see me, looking up at him, my face raised for his kiss.
“I have lost you,” he says again, and he steps away from me, bows, and goes to the door. “And I don’t know how I will manage, how I will manage without you.”
1570, JANUARY, TUTBURY CASTLE: BESS
You would not take us for a castle of victors. Hastings is surly and anxious to be home. He speaks of riding out