orgasm over the fake shit any day. All I needed was to know it was real and that I gave it to her.
I lifted up on my elbow and stared down at the woman in my bed, knowing without a shadow of a doubt that there was no way in hell I’d be able to have sex with her.
“Look,” I started, slowly moving backward just in case things went south when I kindly kicked her out of my bed. “You’re beautiful, but—”
Blaring wails suddenly shot through my bedroom wall. The noise was so loud I actually had to cover my ears. “What the fuck is that?!” I shouted.
“I think…?” The woman’s face scrunched up as she moved up the bed and pressed her ear to the wall, “…it’s Fall Out Boy?” She listened a little longer. “Yep, definitely Fall Out Boy. I actually love this song.”
“That’s it!” I snatched her shirt off the floor and threw it on the bed. “You’ve been great and all, but I’m gonna have to call it a night. As you can see, I have a neighbor to murder. It was nice meeting you though.” Grabbing her by the elbow, I escorted her out of my bed, through my furniture-less living room and out the door. It was a dick thing to do, no doubt about it, but I wanted her out of my apartment just as badly as I wanted to kill the woman next door.
“But… wait,” she stumbled over her words and insanely high heels as she tried to work her clingy top over her head. “I thought—”
I pulled my door closed behind me and looked back at the woman, giving her words I, in no way, shape, or form, meant. “I’ll call you tomorrow.”
She fluttered her eyelashes at me. “Promise.”
Nope. “Yep.” I jabbed the down button over and over until I heard a ding and one set of doors opened. Pushing her in, I gave a little wave and a quick, “Have a good night,” before turning on my bare feet and stomping past my apartment, straight to the door of the woman who’d been a pain in my ass for the past week.
I beat on her front door with my fists hard enough to know she’d hear me over the music.
After a few seconds the door flew open with the sound of angry words flying at me. “You’ve got some nerve, you son of a—”
My jaw dropped as I stared at the woman standing before me, all my rage completely forgotten as I stared into those familiar eyes covered by black-framed glasses. “Delilah?”
“Holy balls!” she shouted as another woman came sliding to a halt directly behind her.
“No fucking way!” the brunette shouts. “You’re our douchebag neighbor?”
“You’re the women with shit-taste in music and no respect for the people that live around them?” I fired back, suddenly remembering what I was doing on their doorstep in the first place.
“Hey asshole—” the brunette started, but she was interrupted by her tiny roommate who’d just sent her fist flying through the air and directly into my nose.
“YOU CHEATING SON OF A BITCH!” she screeched as I hunched over, cupping my bleeding nose.
“What the hell is your problem, crazy?!” I managed to get out. When I was finally able to stand up, my vision was distorted from the tears forming in my eyes. “Jesus Christ! I think you broke my nose!”
“You deserve worse!” she shouted. “I can’t believe you! You have a beautiful fiancée that you’re marrying in a month, and you’re screwing sluts in your bachelor pad! You’re disgusting!”
Blinking rapidly to clear the spots from my vision, I looked at Delilah, thinking what a shame it was that someone as adorable as her turned out to be bat-shit crazy. “What the fuck are you talking about? I’m not engaged!” I pulled my hands away from my nose and looked for blood. “Christ, that hurt. Am I bleeding?” I tipped my head up, trying to stop any potential blood from pouring out.
Her words were clipped, her voice menacing. “You’re not bleeding, you big baby. And I know you’re engaged. I’ve met your fiancée. And I met you when you came to get her bouquet! Jeez, your memory must be really shitty, huh?” she finished sarcastically.
I lowered my head and glared at the tiny woman in front of me. “Oh, I remember all right. You were a fucking nut job then, too!”
She had the audacity to suck in an affronted gasp. “I am not a nut