before that, wasn’t it?”
I felt myself growing itchy under his speculative gaze. “Dude, you’re starting to sound like your woman. This isn’t ‘Let’s Get Richard Hitched’ Day. I’m perfectly content with the way my life is going at the moment. You should understand. Before you settled down, you enjoyed sampling what the city had to offer.”
A wry smile tipped one corner of his mouth up. “Yeah, but you haven’t sampled anything in what?” He tapped his chin, the prick. “Three months?”
“See!” I shouted, throwing my hands in the air. “This is why I don’t tell you anything. Because you’re an asshole!”
He stuck out his bottom lip and crooned, “Aw, baby brother, does someone need a hug? I get you’re feeling inadequate, when a man’s dick stops working—”
I punched him in the stomach. “First of all, you’re older by seven minutes, jackass. And secondly, I’m not feeling inadequate. My dick is working just fine, thank you very much.”
But even as I said the words, I couldn’t help but wonder if they were true. Panic started to take over as I contemplated the idea that my dick actually was broken. I was relatively young and healthy; hell, I was in the prime of my life! So what other reason could there be for my little buddy to just pack it in and close up shop?
I scoffed internally. No, it wasn’t broken. It couldn’t be. It was just… taking a little break. Right?
Oh God.
It was all her fault. Her and her sexy dress and sinful curves and tight, wet… No! I shook my head. I refused to let myself think about her for one more second. I had to banish her from my head once and for all.
That’s it, I thought. I was sick and tired of moping around, always in a bad mood. I needed to get my ass out there and get laid.
Tonight.
WE DIDN’T DRINK WINE that night. Instead, Devon walked through the door with everything needed for frozen margaritas.
I put up a fight at first, seeing as tequila was the reason I was in this problem in the first place, but, as usual, she wouldn’t take no for an answer.
That had been three hours ago. Since then, I’d already had two and was working on my third. And believe me, I was feeling it. “I can’t believe he didn’t even recognize me!” I shouted from my place sprawled out on the living room floor. “I mean, who does that?” From the corner of my eye, I saw Slim Shady lift his head from his little doggy bed, staring me down for my outburst before snuggling back in.
Devon slurped down the remaining dregs of her margarita and reached for the pitcher on the coffee table to pour herself a refill. I sat up and held my glass out for a top-off as well. “Well, in his defense, babe, you do look kinda different when you’re all gussied up.”
I shot her a killing look. “I don’t look that different.”
She wrinkled her nose. “Yeah, you really do, honey.”
“Fine,” I rolled my eyes. “But what about the fact he has a fiancée, huh? A fiancée whose wedding flowers I’m responsible for! A fiancée I’ve met!”
She gave that some thought at the same time she sucked back more margarita. I followed suit. “I think we need to track this asshole down and set his car on fire.”
I loved Devon, but she had a tendency to go from normal to bat-shit crazy with the flip of a switch.
“This is New York, dumbass. No one has a car.”
She let out a hiccup before saying, “Rich people do. And a douchebag with the last name Locklaine has to be a rich douchebag. That name just screams money.”
I took another gulp, letting the sweet and tangy flavor wash over my tongue as I mulled over his name in my head. “It’s a stupid name. Richard Locklaine,” I sneered. “I bet he made it up so he’d sound like some hero out of an historical romance novel or something. I bet his name’s really Richard Nezbit or Richard Peabody or some shit.”
Devon snorted before bursting into a fit of giggles. “Oh! You think he’s related to that famous Locklaine author dude? Damn, what is that guy’s first name? Roman? Rowland?”
“I don’t know.” I shrugged. “And they’re probably not related. Remember, I told you he made his last name up. He’s really Richie Peabody.” With that, it was my turn to giggle-snort as I flopped back onto the floor. “Ooh. I