night, we got into a fight over nothing when Jess was on the phone this morning. But now, he actually admitted he was wrong. And apologized. And I didn't overreact and yell at him and say something mean that I'd regret. I wonder what changed?
I study him surreptitiously as we play. He's not a bad guy, really, once you get to know him. Which is hard to do, since he's got this electrified wall of Keep Away thing going on. But I guess if I'm honest, I have one of those too. They can be necessary, but they aren't exactly easy to take down once you're used to having them up.
But now that Jess has loosened up some, I don't know…he's not that bad. He's different from what I thought at first, at least. He may yell a lot, but I have to admit he's been pretty patient with me. And he's kind of sweet when he's talking about his mom and his family and all. He's straightforward, and he's honest, and I can't say that I know too many people like that. It makes for a pleasant change.
I have to say, he's also a lot cuter than I thought he was. I mean, the hair is terrible, there's no getting around that, but he has a nice face. And his eyes—I duck my head quickly to avoid them as he looks up suddenly. They're good eyes to have, is all I'm saying. They get all crinkly at the edges when he laughs, or when he's talking about something he cares about.
I like Jess, I realize, and bite my lip. I like him a lot. I care what he thinks of me, and I can't say that that's true of many people. Or anybody, really, since nobody, including my father and Julia and everybody else who might be considered close to me, really knows who I am or has any sense of what I might be like outside of their own personal worldview. Jess isn't like that. He—
“Hey, I thought you were supposed to be kicking my ass,” Jess says as he collects a large pile of skittles. “At this rate, you'll have me bouncing off the walls, and this room is way too small for that.”
“A fluke,” I say, and resolve to pay more attention to the game. “Law of averages. You have to win sometimes.”
“Uh huh,” Jess smirks. “I'm sensing a comeback. I'll just have to distribute my winnings among all the small fry on the train.”
“Yeah, and I'm sure their parents will be delighted,” I scoff. “More likely they'll call the train police to arrest you for attempting to poison their children.”
“It's a cold and suspicious world,” Jess agrees.
There's a knock at the door of the roomette. I get up carefully so as not to send the Skittles rolling all over the place, and open the door to find a porter standing there.
“Would you like some assistance setting up the beds?” he inquires.
I turn and look at Jess, who looks at his watch. “Wow, it's eleven o'clock already,” he says. “The trip is going by pretty fast.” He stands up and stretches. “Well, I'd best be getting back to my seat. Do you want to meet at the dining car for breakfast?”
I glance at the porter, who is waiting patiently, and clear my throat. “Um, there are two beds,” I say. “Do you want to just stay here? I'm sure it will be more comfortable than your seat.” The porter nods agreement, smiling slightly. I try really hard not to blush.
Jess looks around and sticks his hands in his pockets awkwardly. “Um, okay. You sure?”
“Absolutely.” I step aside to allow the porter into the room, and then quickly realize there isn't space for the three of us to be in there. I go stand in the hallway, and Jess follows me out.
“Do you want the top bunk or the bottom bunk?” I ask, mostly for something to say.
“Whichever. Your roomette, you should get first pick.”
“Right,” I say. Jess puts his hand against the small of my back to move me out of the way of a woman trying to get past us. “The bathroom is down that way,” I say. “You know, if you want to brush your teeth or something.”
“Why, do I need to?” Jess laughs softly.
“Not that I've noticed,” I smile at him. “But all the dentists in the world say you should.”
The porter comes out of the room, and I jump. “All set,” he