He’d gotten a substitute to teach his afternoon history class and then darted over to the salon.
Had Meredith not barged up and jolted Noelle, she wouldn’t have nicked Holden’s ear with the scissors. Holden had been questioning whether or not he should tell Noelle that Birdie had invited him to have dinner at the ranch, but then Meredith had thrown everything off course and Holden never got the chance. He felt terrible for shocking Noelle into choking. If anything happened to Noelle because of him …
An invisible fist squeezed his chest, causing perspiration to break over his pores. He thought of his older brother Justin, the old familiar despair settling in his gut like stone. Panic raced through his veins as he struggled to get a good breath. His hands tingled, and he knew that a panic attack was coming on. A silent prayer rose in his heart. Please, Lord, let this attack pass. Help me get control of myself. Help me remember the things Pastor Charles told me. Dizziness assaulted him. He felt himself swimming in his own guilt. He was caught like a fly in thick, gooey syrup that was pulling him down, down, down.
Try as he could to fight against it, the memories caught hold, taking him back to the fateful night that had changed everything.
The bass from the pulsing music throbbed through Holden, causing his head to ache. He didn’t know why he’d let Justin talk him and Noelle into coming to Gary Swinson’s idiotic party. Gary was a friend of Justin’s. The guy was a loser. He’d dropped out of high school and was going nowhere. The scent of booze churned Holden’s stomach. He glanced at Noelle’s tight expression and could tell that she was as uncomfortable as he was. No, more so.
“Hey, you two.” Cheryl staggered over to them. “You want something to drink?” Her voice was several octaves too loud, her eyes glassy. She held up a can of beer, dangling it in front of them. Someone barreled into her back, and she fell forward, sloshing beer on Noelle’s jeans. Noelle jumped, letting out a startled gasp.
“Watch it!” Holden warned.
Shrill laughter bubbled from Cheryl’s lips. “Oops, sorry.” She straightened herself back up to her full height and adjusted her shirt before traipsing away. “Hey, good looking,” she said to the nearest guy she crossed paths with.
“We should go,” Noelle said through rigid lips. Her gaze moved to the couple sitting across from them, engaged in a full-out make-out session.
“Good idea.”
Boisterous laughter caught Holden’s attention as he looked across the room to where a group of guys were gathered around his brother Justin, cheering him on as he raised a can of beer to his lips and drained it down in a few swallows. He used his sleeve to wipe away the liquid dribbling down the sides of his mouth before crushing the can in his fist.
Noelle tugged on Holden’s sleeve. “Let’s go.” There was a note of urgency in her voice. Holden and Noelle had driven to the party where they met Justin and his friends. The plan was for them to stop by the party for a bit and then grab something to eat afterwards. However, Holden hadn’t counted on Justin getting soused. Apprehension twisted his gut. That wasn’t true, he always worried about Justin and how trouble seemed to follow him like his shadow.
Justin was three years older than Holden, but in many ways, Holden felt like he was the older brother. Holden assumed that when Justin graduated high school four years earlier that he’d go off to college, but he hadn’t. Justin got a job at an auto parts store. While there was nothing wrong with earning an honest wage, Holden could tell that his older brother was floundering. He’d been drinking too much, and several times, Holden had smelled marijuana on his clothes.
Justin’s lack of ambition was a source of contention in the Hunt household. Holden’s parents were genuinely worried about Justin. Lately, Justin had been getting angry at the drop of the hat, and he was always looking for a fight. Holden wasn’t sure where all of the animosity was coming from. It was like a switch had flipped inside of Justin. Holden hardly recognized his brother. And yet, his heart ached for him. He wished there was something he could do to help Justin shape up.
“Holden,” Noelle urged, tightening her hold on his arm. Her voice held a hint of exasperation. “I don’t feel comfortable here.”
Holden was