upward as I jokingly smile.
The corners of his lips tug upward. “I’m the creeper? Need I remind you of the lake incident.”
I let out a groan as I sit up. “How many times do I have to tell you that I was not checking you out?” It’s a total lie.
I was full-on checking him out.
We were sixteen at the time and had gone swimming down at the lake. He had worn only his swimming shorts, and while I'd seen him shirtless before, it'd been a while. And during that while, he'd gotten a lot muscular. I couldn't help but stare, maybe more than I should've.
It was the first time I realized my BFF was sexy.
Not that I’d ever tell him that.
And not like he’d ever want to hear me tell him that either.
Trystan and I are just friends, and he's never shown any interest of being anything else.
“Liar,” he teases with a grin. But then he grows solemn. “I actually came here to apologize to you, not watch you. Although, that part does have its perks.” His gaze purposefully scrolls across my bare legs all the way up to my eyes.
I make a big show of rolling my eyes, but inside I feel a bit warm. Why is he looking at me like that? “Liar. Well, not about the apology part, but about the watching me. And what was that look in your eyes just barely...” I trail off as he smiles amusedly.
“You’re nervously rambling,” he remarks. “And blushing.”
My lips part with a lie, but the warmth spreading across my skin is an indicator that I’m blushing. “So, you wanted to apologize, huh?” I completely and noticeably change the subject. “For what?”
His amused smile fades a little. “Can I come in?”
“Into my room?” I question. “Um, yeah, you know you always can.”
“Yeah, but you’re mad at me right now.”
I sigh. “No, I’m not. I’m mad at myself.”
His expression is guarded as he pushes away from the doorframe, walks into my room, and shuts the door behind him. “Why are you mad at yourself?”
I shrug. “Because I’m a failure.” It’s the first time I’ve said the words aloud, and it makes me very aware how true they are, and that all this pretending I'm okay with not flying is fake. I want to be able to spread my wings and soar off, leaving the past behind me. I want to break free of that moment long ago when those angels tossed me over the ledge. I don’t want to let that moment control me anymore because it is. Even now, years later, that single moment still controls me.
“You’re not a failure.” He sits down beside me. Then hesitantly, he reaches out and cups my face between his hands. “You succeed at so many things. You’re the best archer. The best potions maker. You’re one of the best hand-to-hand combat fighters.”
“And I’m the bestest friend,” I joke.
But he doesn’t even so much as crack a smile. “You’re definitely that too.”
“Not lately,” I say. “Lately, I’ve been mean to you.”
“You haven’t been mean. You’ve just been stressed out.”
“And taking it out on you. And I’m sorry for that.”
Now he cracks a smile. “Hey, I’m the one that came here to apologize. Way to steal my thunder, little angel.”
Instead of reaming into him for that nickname, I give him a pass. “Sorry.”
He smiles amusedly. “You’re letting me off the hook for that? You must really feel bad.”
“I do,” I say. “I should trust you when you say everything will be okay. You’ve saved me from dying before, so I should know you’ll do it again. I’m just... I’m afraid.”
“Afraid of what?” he asks. “Death?”
I start to nod but realize I’ll be lying.
I’m not afraid of death.
I’m afraid of failing.
Of not being able to finally leave my past behind.
I’m afraid of being left behind.
Of him leaving me.
Of him going off to college and me losing my best friend.
I realize all of this now.
Or maybe I’ve known for a while and have been too afraid to say it aloud.
I shake my head. “No, I’m afraid that I’ll try, and I’ll fail. That I’ll never be able to get past that stupid day when those angels threw me over the cliff.” I suck in a shaky breath. “And I’m afraid that you’ll go off to school and we’ll drift apart... I’m afraid that I’ll lose you.”
He searches my eyes while skimming the pad of his thumb along my cheekbone. “You’ll never lose me. Even if you didn’t