being I’ve been this past week.
SEVEN
MICHAEL IS STANDING at the stove cooking dinner. He sees the car before I do.
I’m seated at the table, putting together a puzzle with the girls.
I stiffen when I see it. A black, unmarked car. Very similar to what a detective’s car would look like, I imagine.
The blood feels like it drains from my body when I see Saint step out of the vehicle.
What is he doing here?
I start to panic internally. I can feel blood rushing to my ears. Michael heads to the door and I want to scream at him to stop him from answering it, but my voice is stuck in my throat.
I slide Andi off my lap as soon as Michael says, “There’s a police officer outside.”
I walk to the door with Michael and glance out the window. Saint is walking slowly around Michael’s car. I keep my distance from Michael because I’m scared he’ll hear the thumping of my heart.
Michael opens the door and it’s as if I can see my entire marriage crumbling around me.
Why else would Saint be here?
Michael steps out onto the porch. I remain frozen in the doorway.
Saint glances at Michael, then me. He’s in full uniform right now. His jaw is hard, his expression zeroed in on me. “Sorry to bother you folks,” Saint says, slowly bringing his gaze to Michael. Saint stops at the bottom step. “I’m just doing a standard patrol of the area and noticed you don’t have a visitor tag.”
Michael tilts his head. “Visitor tag?”
Saint nods. “All vehicles traveling in and out of the area now require a visitor tag.”
Michael laughs at the absurdity of needing a tag to be here, but I’m too scared to even fake a smile right now. I know Saint is lying. This area has never required a visitor tag. It’s a risky lie, because he has no idea how much Michael does or doesn’t know about the laws around here.
“I didn’t realize,” Michael says. He turns around and looks at me. “Did you know this?”
Saint is staring at me, hard.
I nod. Clear my throat. “Yeah. It’s a new law. I forgot to tell you.”
Michael tosses a hand toward me and looks back at Saint. “She forgot to tell me,” Michael says with a laugh, hoping to get a smile out of Saint. He gets nothing, because Saint is still staring at me.
“I’m only here for the night,” Michael says. “My car will be gone by eight tomorrow morning. Can we let it slide this time?”
Saint finally looks back at Michael. He gives him a tight nod. “I’ll be back in the morning to make sure the car’s gone,” Saint says, almost as if it’s a warning.
Michael looks at me like this guy is crazy.
He might be. I can’t tell.
Is this Saint just playing the jealous, possessive role of Cam right now? I have no idea.
Saint tips his hat toward me. “You two have a lovely night.” He grins ever so slightly when he says that. Then he walks back toward his car and gets inside.
I immediately walk back inside the cabin. I go straight for the wine. Michael returns to the stove and says, “That was weird. Wonder why they’re getting so strict around here?”
“I don’t know,” I mutter.
Michael walks over to me and wraps his arms around me. “I guess it’s a good thing with you being out here all alone.”
I force a tight smile. “Yeah. It’s…comforting.” I say that in my most convincing voice, but it isn’t comforting at all.
It’s disturbing.
• • •
The rest of the night passes by without incident.
The girls are out by nine. Michael and I are together on the couch while he catches up on work—his laptop in front of him. I have the television on, but I can’t pay attention to it. I’m drowning in too much guilt to pay attention to it.
I’ve never cheated on Michael before. I’ve never even had the urge. We have a good marriage, and I never thought I’d be the type to have an affair, but I also don’t quite feel like I’m me when I’m here in this cabin alone. I sometimes get so immersed in my writing, I become the character I’m creating. Some call it method writing, and I suppose I can blame my actions on that, but it doesn’t excuse them.
I cheated on my husband, and all I can do is hope to hell he never finds out.
Michael closes his laptop. He slides it off his lap and