heart heavy, like someone had filled it with wet sand. Rosa standing at the stainless steel sink, loading dishes into the bubbly water. Dar stumbling over her words, trying to spit out that her engagement was off, that she wasn’t cut out to be somebody’s wife. The relief pouring over me when Rosa shouted down the idea. If you do not marry this man, your poor father will have no grandchildren. My sister’s face as she turned to me, hopeful, imploring me to take her side. Me, unable to speak.
I hang my head. “I’m so sorry, Dar.”
She shrugs. “I should have known it was too much to ask. You were petrified of crossing Nonna.”
My heart pitches and I take a deep breath. “The truth is, I was petrified of losing you.” I rub my temples. “You were all I had. And I put my happiness above yours. I’m so sorry.” I place a tentative hand on her arm. “Will you please forgive me?”
She looks into my eyes and gives a wobbly smile. “It’s all good. Donnie’s a great dad. I adore the girls. You know that, right?”
“Of course. You’ve got a great family.”
She takes a deep breath and nods. “Which is why I feel like a selfish bitch when sometimes I look at my life and think, ‘Is this it?’ I mean, why couldn’t I have been the second-born daughter? You have so many possibilities, Em, but until Poppy came along, you’d squandered them. You took up residence in this boring little Emville like it was your retirement home. All that was missing was a rocking chair and a crocheted tissue box.”
My quick burst of laughter fades to silence. “But you did nothing to encourage me. You did just the opposite.”
“I know. I wanted it both ways. I was afraid to let you leave, but angry when you didn’t. And then I got pregnant, and married Donnie. It became clear pretty quickly, it was useful to have you here.” She gives a little laugh and looks down at her hands. “In fact, I don’t have a clue what I’d have done without you all these years. I figured, if you felt needed, you wouldn’t leave. And if you didn’t leave, you’d be safe. But, Emmie, the fact is, you deserve so much more.”
“I know,” I say, and swallow the knot in my throat. “Poppy taught me this.”
She sniffles. “I was proud of you today, the way you stood up to Nonna. Screw the store! You’re going places, Em, mark my words.”
My chin quivers. “But, Dar, you could have more, too.”
She gives a wan smile. “Nah. I’m okay with the store. I get to set my own hours, come and go as I please. Who else is going to let me do that?”
I smile. She’s right. Nonna spoils Daria, her fellow firstborn daughter.
She scoots her chair back and rises. “I better get back to work.” She nods at the suitcase beside the door. “And you need to get to the train station.”
My nose stings and I know, without a doubt, I would stay here forever if my sister asked. But luckily, she doesn’t. Instead, she pulls me into a hug. It’s not the tepid hug I’ve grown used to. It’s a Daria full-body squeeze. Tears blur my vision. I’d almost forgotten how beautiful it feels, a sister’s love.
“I love you, Dar.”
I feel her crying softly. “I love you more.” She turns to leave. “Call me when you get to Ravello.”
“Wait, Dar. I have something for you.”
She lifts the gloves from the kitchen counter. “I opened them earlier. They’re gorgeous, Emmie.”
I reach into my pocket. “I meant this.”
She stares down at the medal in my palm. Saint Christopher, the patron saint of travelers, her prize possession. She closes my palm around it.
“Mom would want you to have it. And so do I.”
She kisses my cheek and closes the door behind her.
Chapter 53
Emilia
Ravello
The evening sun spills over the Gulf of Salerno, mopping the rooftop in pinks and golds. It’s hard to believe that just two days ago, I was at work in Bensonhurst, and now I’m here with Lucy and my grandparents, feasting alfresco on a rich seafood stew heaped with clams, sea bass, and herb pesto. A half dozen candles flicker in the breeze. My nonna Poppy is wearing a flowing, lemon-yellow caftan, with what looks to be a double strand of brightly painted Easter eggs around her neck. Her wig is freshly styled and she swears she’s feeling grand.
As I watch