and then life slowly chips away at us. Some of those chips are deep, some are just surface scratches, but we carry them with us as we walk through life, becoming more and more worn.
Yet the flaws make us who we are. What we’ve been through make us who we are. This life, it’s trial by fire. If we didn’t go through it, we wouldn’t be the people we are today, and we wouldn’t fit like we do right now.
I slide into her with such ease that I know I’ve never belonged so much as I do now. Not just with her, but here, in the world. She makes everything make sense again.
I press my face into her neck and I’m grinning, buried in her hair. Letting it all wash over me.
I won’t lose her, no matter what.
My pumps quicken, her short nails scratching at my back, wanting more from me, fevered and needy.
She whispers her desires.
Deeper.
Harder.
More.
She’s so greedy she’s insatiable, and then I’m slamming my hips against her, trying to give her what she wants, trying to hold on, my cock driving deeper. The headboard slams into the wall over and over again, and I can only hope Vanni is still outside by the pool, because we are being loud.
“Claudio,” she says, her voice breaking as her eyes pinch shut, her pleasure threatening to overtake her. “I—"
“Don’t close your eyes,” I command. “Keep looking at me.”
Her eyes fly open and then she’s coming.
I watch as she becomes undone, a spool of thread unraveling, leaving something bare and bright and beautiful behind.
“Oh god!” she cries out, tears rushing to her eyes, her mouth open and wet as she keeps crying out my name. Her body rises off the bed, shuddering around me, and I give myself permission to let go.
I come with a deep groan, my back arching as the orgasm rips up my spine, rendering me boneless. I nearly collapse on top of her, bracketing her between my elbows. My head drops, limp, forehead resting against her chest. I can feel her heartbeat through her skin, slowly calming down. It’s reassuring to feel her heart, to know it’s there, to know that maybe one day it will be mine for good.
“I love you,” I whisper hoarsely.
The words slip out.
They fall into the room like feathers, silent, hanging there.
If anything, her heartbeat gets louder.
I raise my head to see her staring at the ceiling, blinking.
Maybe she didn’t hear me.
Maybe it doesn’t matter.
“Grace?” I whisper, catching my breath.
She raises her head and looks at me. There is so much softness in her eyes that I can’t seem to make heads or tails of it.
“You love me?” she whispers.
I give her a smile that says, of course. Isn’t it obvious?
Her mouth closes, a wayward tear spilling out from the corner of her eye.
She rolls over on her side.
I go on mine so that I’m spooning her, holding her against me.
I suppose it should be awkward that she’s not saying anything back. But that’s not why I said it. I didn’t say it to hear it. I said it because it’s true.
That’s all there is to it.
My truth.
She doesn’t seem to know what to do with it, but she’s not pushing it away, either.
Finally she says quietly, “I think we should tell Vanni.”
“That I love you?”
She nods. “Well, no. That’s not what I meant. I mean, I think we should tell Vanni about us. Soon. And maybe, if he knows you love me, maybe he’ll understand.”
I’m about to tell her I completely agree when she holds up her finger. “But first, I want to put some feelers out.”
“Feelers?” I ask, confused by this strange word.
“Aye. I want to ask him some questions just to get an idea of how he’ll take it. You know. So we’ll be prepared.”
I don’t think that’s necessary, but I want to give her what she wants.
“Okay. Put out your feelers,” I say, tickling her, because this is what feelers should be.
She laughs, squirming away from me.
So I tickle her some more.
Twenty
Grace
For the first time, I wake up in Claudio’s arms, in Claudio’s bed.
Last night, after I did one final sculpting session in his studio, as he did the last touches on the clay model, we ended up back in his bedroom. It’s like now that we’ve decided we’re going to tell Vanni, we’ve been a little looser with our rules.
That said, we’re still careful and cautious, and Vanni was fast asleep by then, so he didn’t catch me