I see her all the time.”
“Not all the time.”
“Once a month. That is all the time.”
“I thought you and time had a different relationship.”
He shrugs. “It’s all relative.”
I make Vanni a sandwich, and he tells me all about his days at Paolo’s. Apparently his parents just turned vegan, which is something Vanni didn’t know about, so he was starving the whole time (nevermind the fact that we eat vegetarian many times a week). He had fun, but Paolo is a shade more introverted than he is, so by the end he was bored. Said he’d rather have stayed here and hung out with Emilio.
I toy with the idea of telling him about Grace, especially since my parents already know about us. But I know this is a decision I need to make with her. Even though he is my son, I know she would see this as a betrayal again.
And what are you to her? Did you even find out?
I guess for all our conversation in the ferry line-up, we never really hammered out what this relationship is. Boyfriend and girlfriend, yes. But with a time limit and no clear future.
And, for now, still a secret in this house.
So after Vanni is done and says he’s going to go sit by the pool and play a video game on his iPad all day (apparently Paolo also isn’t allowed video games anymore), I decide to go upstairs and check on Grace. She seemed so tired when we finally got home. I’m sure crying like she did took it all out of her.
I knock gently on her door. “Grace?” I whisper.
I open it and poke my head in.
She’s lying on top of her bed on her side, back to me. I take a moment to stare at the curve of her hips, the dip of her waist, the golden afternoon sun coming through the window.
Fuck it.
I’m in love with her.
The realization is so sharp, so swift, I feel like I’ve been stabbed in the heart with the sweetest blade.
Of course I am in love with her.
There was never any other way.
There was never another outcome.
She walked into my life, and I fell for her and that’s the way our story is written.
With me on my knees.
I take a deep breath, trying to fight the feeling, needing for it to stay buried for a while. I might feel this way, but she doesn’t. I can’t afford to scare her again.
I’m about to close the door and leave the room when she lifts her head.
“Claudio?” she whispers.
Yes, my love?
I clear my throat. “I was just checking in on you.”
She looks over her shoulder at me and then rolls over, yawning. She raises her arms above her head and then flops them down on the bed. “I was having such a strange dream.”
I walk in the room, shutting the door behind me. “Good strange or bad strange?”
“Good strange,” she says as I sit on the edge of the bed. She hoists herself up on her elbows. “You had finished your sculpture, but instead of being the model, I was the one encased in marble.”
“That’s terrifying.”
“And then I was at the bottom of the sea, with all these fish around me.”
“Even more terrifying.”
“Except I was a mermaid. You know, also. Perhaps that can be your next project?”
“You’ll inspire me forever, la mia musa, but your dream sounds more creepy than good.”
“No, it was good. I was happy. At the end, I broke free of the marble and I swam away. With my mermaid tail.”
I give her a warm smile, picturing her as a mermaid. She would definitely be one of those sirens that lures men into the sea.
“Did Vanni come back yet?” she asks.
“He did. I made him a sandwich. Dare I say the boy missed me. Or he missed my cooking. But I like to think he missed me.”
“Of course he did,” she says.
“He was very worried when he saw you weren’t here.”
“Oh. You told him I was napping?”
“Sì. But it got me thinking … he’s grown quite attached to you. I know it doesn’t seem like it, because he has his own way, but he’s fond of you.”
“You know how I feel about him.”
“Yes,” I say, climbing onto the bed and lying down next to her, my head propped up by my elbow. “I do. So … when do you think we should tell him?”
Her eyes go round, brow furrowed in consternation. “Vanni? About us?”
“Yes. Only because my parents now know, and that went