his dad. The anguish in Grayson’s voice as he cried out in pain and sorrow cut through Sando’s heart. He didn’t know how to handle it. Tears sprang into his eyes, but he willed them away. Then Maz quietly took position behind him and put a hand on his shoulder. “It’s okay to cry, kitten.”
Sando leaned in not so much that others would notice but enough to draw comfort from Maz’s presence, his smell. “I didn’t even know him. How can I be this sad for someone I didn’t even know?”
“Because despite what you believe about yourself, you have a big, soft heart…and you care a lot for Lucan and even for Grayson. Seeing their grief hits you, just like it hits me.”
Maz took his hand as they joined the solemn funeral procession toward where Jawon lay buried as well. “Maz, people can see,” Sando whispered, but Maz’s grip on his hand tightened.
“I don’t care. They can think or say whatever they want. I’m done hiding.”
I’m done hiding. The words stuck in Sando’s mind as they followed the others. What did Maz mean by that? Hiding what? He couldn’t have been talking about his relationship with Lucan. That had no bearing on him holding Sando’s hand. But he and Maz weren’t together…were they?
God, one would think he’d know if he were in a relationship or not, but Sando honestly didn’t have a clue. If someone said they loved you, did that mean you were…? No, that couldn’t be right. Unrequited love existed. That much he did know. Besides, Lucan had declared his love for Sando. Not Maz. Maz had been…standing there. So what did Maz feel for him?
The funeral was mercifully short, though still heartbreaking. “I need to take care of Lucan,” Maz said softly. “Please come with me. He needs you too.”
“I can’t,” Sando whispered.
“Yes, you can. I know your father has objections, but you don’t have to listen to him.”
“You don’t understand…”
Maz held his chin between his thumb and index finger. “Actually, after speaking to your father today, I think I understand better, and we’ll have to talk about that soon. But Sando, I want you to realize this. Lucan needs you, and he’s never asked for anything from you. If you don’t show up now, you risk losing him. Do you understand what I’m saying?”
Lose Lucan? Even the thought felt like a stab to his heart. Face his father’s wrath or risk hurting Lucan to the point where he’d stop loving Sando… When put that way, the choice was indeed easy.
“I’ll come with you.”
4
Grief was strange, Lucan thought. He’d cried for hours after hearing Dane had passed away. Maz and Sando had sat with him, listening to him tell stories about Dane, about growing up with him, about taking care of him. Lucan had simply talked, pouring out his heart, and they had held him and listened. The presence of his mates had comforted him, even if his grief had still been so raw and painful.
But in the week that had passed, it had become softer, giving way to appreciation that Dane hadn’t been alone, that Bray had been there at the exact moment to hold him. Dane’s suffering throughout the years, but especially in the last months, had come to an end. Lucan was grateful his baby brother was buried on pack land and had been with them in the end.
The grief was still there, like when he’d had dinner with his dad and Bray, just the three of them, recalling memories and sharing stories. They had laughed and cried—even Bray, which had shocked Lucan to his core—and it had helped. The cloud of black sadness had lifted, and he was able to smile again and to give attention to other things. Like Sven’s baby, who had been born the day before, a beautiful boy they’d named Kateb. Lucan had been genuinely happy for his father, relieved that everything had gone well. He’d loved holding his brother for a while, softening the pain about losing his baby brother.
He could also focus on what mattered most at the moment: Sando. And so he sought out Palani, determined to find out if the beta had ever followed up on whatever Enar had told him. Lucan could ask Enar, but he seemed distracted lately too, so he might as well skip that step and go straight to Palani.
He found Palani in the office he usually shared with Lucan’s dad, but he wasn’t there. “Do you have a moment?”
Palani checked