words were making me feel things.
“You mentioned a file?”
“Yes.” Her cheeks reddened. “That was the moment I realized how my nonaction was coming across. My husband grew alarmed when he noticed that I was never encouraging Hunter to reach out to his sister, so he hired a private investigator.”
A P.I.?
I knew these people used to think I was a criminal, but to actually hire an investigator?
Natalie kept on, “I was stunned, not what I read inside, but that he had hired someone to look into you. You have deserved nothing for how you have been treated. Your mother was very sick, and had been for a long time, but I didn’t look at you as a child needing love. I was scared. I didn’t think I could handle what you might be bringing into my home, and my instincts kicked in to protect Chad and Hunter. In all that time, I never thought that I was hurting a child needing help, that perhaps you had been brought to us for a reason. I turned my back on you, and I’m very sorry for that.”
This was a lot.
I was feeling itchy all over, and restless, and my thoughts were almost breaking my barrier. If that happened, I’d be flooded with so much stimulus and information that I’d have to call for a ride home. I wouldn’t be able to endure coming back for the evening.
I didn’t do my run this morning, or yoga.
I wanted to sleep another hour in Cut’s arms and I was kicking myself, but this—who could’ve been prepared for this to happen?
“It’s fine. I went to my uncle’s.”
“Cheyenne.” She scooted to the edge of her seat, leaning forward. She placed her hand on my desk. “You are a very kind and resilient young woman. You are intelligent. You are funny. You are caring. I can always tell when Hunter’s read one of your emails. His smile is bigger, and he laughs louder. He’s happier. You make him happier.” She looked down, closing her eyes for a beat. “And I read that file and I’m amazed at the things you’ve done, and this place, this place is amazing. You started this place. I’m very proud to say that you’re Hunter’s sister, and I’d love it if we could form a relationship moving forward? If that is something you'd be interested in?” She paused, sensing my unease, as she then said, “But I will understand if the past is too painful for you. Either way, I want to apologize, and I am hoping that you and Hunter can do more things together. He really adores you.”
My forehead was itching.
I kept rubbing at it, over and over again.
This didn’t happen to people like me.
People like me, we were messed up and we were scorned, and we were judged. We knew our place. I knew my place. Cut had been chipping at that wall, but her being here, apologizing, saying all these things to me, and I was struggling with my brain getting away from me.
“Cheyenne?”
Panic was rising up in me, taking over, clogging my veins. It was moving into my throat. It was going to close up my throat and I wouldn’t be able to breathe.
“You need to go. Now.” My ears were starting to pound.
I couldn’t distinguish my own voice or the normal volume.
I might’ve been yelling for all I knew. “Now. You gotta go.”
“Cheyenne.” She pushed up from her chair and was coming around to my side. “What is it? What did I say—”
The door was pushed open, and Reba was there. “What’s going on in here?”
“I—” Natalie’s voice broke. I think that was her? I couldn’t tell.
My skin was crawling. I felt like there were ticks everywhere and I needed to wash them off of me.
“I was trying to apologize for something.”
“Apologize?” Reba pushed her way in my office, shutting the door behind her. “For what? Who are you? How do you know Cheyenne?”
My head was pounding. I reached for my phone, dropping it a few times, and I managed a text to Cut. He’d be done with his practice for the day.
Me: I need you. Come Our Way.
Natalie was speaking over my head, “...Hunter is my son. I only had the best intentions. I swear. I didn’t mean to upset her in any way. I’m trying to make up for the past.”
“Cheyenne. Honey.” Reba was at my side.
Natalie had moved so she was behind the chairs.
When had that happened?
Reba was looking at my phone. “You need me