one.
“Take me in the bedroom,” Avery whispered. “You can take every bit of that rage out on me.”
Gray growled against his neck. “Have I told you today how much I love you?” This was Gray’s thing, ever since their wedding night, and it always made Avery smile.
“Stop talking and show me.”
Gray laughed, pulling him toward the bedroom. “Yes, sir.”
And for a while, there was nothing else in the world. No Charlie. No betrayal. Certainly no Jonas. There was only the crop on Avery’s back, Gray’s hands on him, Gray’s voice, the pain and the pleasure merging together until Avery found himself flying as he hadn’t done since that time last fall, the night before he’d finally taken Gray to the Tap House.
Eventually, he found himself back on the bed in Gray’s arms, Gray holding him as he had that night, rubbing his back, whispering that he loved him, that he was perfect, that Gray had never been so proud.
Avery shivered. “I was flying.”
“I know. Jesus, Avery. You have no idea how fucking hot that is.”
Avery almost laughed, but he was still reeling, the euphoria shivering through him.
All because of Jonas.
And suddenly, it all came back. Jonas had lain here, in this very bed, in Gray’s arms. Jonas had experienced all of this before Avery. “Gray…”
But like he was reading Avery’s mind, Gray squeezed him. “No. Before you even ask, no. It was never anything like this. Not even in the same ballpark. Not even the same fucking solar system.”
“Do you promise?”
“I swear on whatever bullshit, man-written, supposedly sacred text you’d like to put in front of me.”
“Is that supposed to be comforting?”
“You mean it isn’t?”
Avery laughed, resolving to put his jealousy aside. “Tell me again that you love me.”
Gray kissed his forehead. “More than anything.”
“Okay.” It had to be enough.
For the next few days, Avery found himself ducking out of Gray’s path more often than not. Charlie called at least once a day, although Gray never took the calls. He deleted Charlie’s voicemails without listening to them. But being on the outs with his best friend made him surly and edgy. He softened with Avery, apologizing and reassuring him often. But his grumpiness was hard to avoid, and Avery found himself absorbing it like some kind of emotional sponge, then struggling to find an outlet for it. He left the house feeling like he was choking on it. For the first time since the bombing, he didn’t feel like playing at the Tap House or the assisted-living facility.
“It’s not just Charlie,” Gray said one night. “It’s the whole group. What about Warren? What about Phil?”
Not surprisingly, he didn’t think about Avery’s corner of that equation. It wasn’t that Gray was selfish. It was only that he didn’t realize how much Avery had come to depend on Taylor and River. Avery thought of them as friends, but now, the tension between the Doms bled over into the relationship between Avery, Taylor, and River.
“You have to talk to him,” Taylor said one day when the three of them sat together at the Tap House. They’d been there less than twenty minutes, but Avery was already tired of the subject. Taylor was nearly in tears. After dealing with Gray, Avery had little patience for it. “You have to tell Gray to make up with Charlie.”
“I don’t want to talk about it. Can we change the subject, please?”
“You have to make Gray forgive him.”
“To hell with that,” Avery snapped. “Why is it on Gray? Charlie’s the one who slept with his boyfriend.”
Taylor’s eyes filled with tears. He put his fingers over his mouth. “Don’t be mad at me, Avery. What’d I do?”
“Stop and think about it! How would you feel if Warren’s ex was suddenly part of the group? Would you be so anxious to accept him then?”
Taylor ducked his head, whether to hide his tears or gather himself for his next argument, Avery didn’t know. River didn’t quite scowl, but Avery could read the disapproval in his eyes.
“What?” Avery snapped at him.
River shrugged. “He seemed like a decent guy.”
“You met him exactly once.”
“And you’ve met him exactly twice.”
“That’s still more than you!”
River shrugged again, sipping his beer. “Phil likes him. He said Jonas is a great guy. I think he’s looking forward to seeing him again.”
“Well, fan-fucking-tastic! You guys can all get together and have a grand old time! But you can leave me out of it.”
“Don’t,” Taylor said, crying for real now. “Don’t fight. Please!” He took River’s hand, then reached for