argument. “Here’s a pair of socks and shoes. Put them on so that we can go feed you.”
Walking up to me, she shoved the items at me. I took them reluctantly, annoyed by the way she so easily shut down her desires to switch into full business mode. I’d need to cure her of that bad trait.
My feet also didn’t appreciate this double confinement. However, the sole of my feet appreciated the pleasant cushion of the running shoes.
“Before we leave, this is your bathroom,” Naima said in a factual tone. “The human body needs maintenance that your ethereal form doesn’t. This is your bath and the separate shower. Baths take longer but are great to relax. Showers are faster. You will do either one or the other, once a day. Some people prefer to shower in the morning, I prefer to do it at night so that I don’t carry to bed the filth from the day that just ended.”
I stared, feeling somewhat bewildered as she showed me how to operate the shower and the bath.
“The towels, washcloths, soap, shampoo can be found here. Careful not to get soap or shampoo in your eyes. It’s not a pleasant feeling. Rinse until it stops stinging,” Naima continued, visibly amused by my dismay. “Once you’re done drying yourself, you will want to use this. It’s antiperspirant. Roll it under your armpits like this. Otherwise, you’re going to stink like a mofo. That’s the best way to make sure everyone will flee you like the plague, especially the ladies. As a matter of fact, you should put some on now since I’m going to have you sweating like a pig in not too long.”
Naima spoke in a taunting, and slightly suggestive way that made me itch with the urge to put her across my knees and spank her.
Begrudgingly taking the bottle from her, I brought it to my armpit only to have her immediately stop me.
“No, silly goose. Not on your clothes! Directly on your skin,” Naima exclaimed. “You don’t have to take off your shirt, you can just lift the hem.”
I ground my teeth but complied. As I was switching hands to apply some of the wet, but clear gel under my other armpit, I caught the way my woman was eyeballing my exposed torso. Instead of expediting the process as I’d previously been doing, I slowed down and contracted my abdominal muscles to give her even more of an eyeful. She bit her bottom lip, her hazel eyes darkening, while the scent of her arousal tickled my nose.
Suddenly realizing I had stopped applying the antiperspirant and was just staring at her drooling over me, Naima looked up at me, embarrassed to have been caught red-handed. However, she lifted her chin defiantly at the sight of my smug grin.
“I wouldn’t be human if I didn’t enjoy the eye candy,” she said dismissively. “Close the bottle, and fix your shirt.”
My smile broadened. I was going to enjoy playing this little game with my mate. She indicated for me to put it on the corner of the counter. The domestic feel of it all amused me. Naima then opened a drawer to pull out some device with a tiny comb at the tip.
“That’s an electric razor,” my mate explained with a shit-eating grin that told me I wouldn’t enjoy what followed. “This is to shave the hair that will grow on your face.”
My jaw dropped. “I don’t have facial hair,” I argued. “You didn’t want facial hair.”
“That’s correct,” Naima said with a nod. “But the fact that you don’t have any now doesn’t mean it won’t grow. In fact, your beard and mustache are quite likely growing as we speak, but it won’t show for a number of hours. Make sure your skin and the shaver are perfectly dry before you do it. When you’re done, you’ll need some aftershave to keep your skin from developing a bunch of bumps. And don’t forget to clean the shaver before the next use.”
“Are you shitting me?” I growled.
“Nope, not in the least,” Naima said in a sing-song tone. “Speaking of which, the toilet is going to become your new BFF,” she added, playfully pointing at it with her index finger. “You will visit it at least once a day, but probably more like three or four times to evacuate waste from the food you eat and beverages you drink.”
She walked over to the toilet and lifted the seat.
“Very important lesson: men pee standing up. When you