of something amber colored. I couldn’t see his eyes, but I knew he was staring at me.
Next to Will, I was most sorry about him. I’d helped him bury a body that I’d watched him murder, and he never told anyone about my involvement. When we got back to Thunder Bay, he might have his own vengeance in mind for me.
“I didn’t want to hurt him,” I said. “I didn’t want to hurt any of you. I just wanted to protect her.”
They didn’t move or speak, Michael taking another drink.
“I made a mistake,” I told them, feeling naked as they glared at me like I was prey. “I thought I was alone.”
My voice softened to a whisper, but no matter how much I hated this, and never in a million years dreamed I’d be groveling to them, it needed to be done. They deserved an apology. At the very least.
“I’m sorry,” I murmured. “I am very sorry.”
Kai turned and stepped toward me. “You think that erases anything?”
I shook my head. “No.”
“You think we would ever trust you not to do something like that again?”
“No.”
“You threw us to the wolves,” he growled, and I could see his white teeth shining in the dark room. “You think your words mean anything to us? Your apologies? Your explanation? Your excuses?”
I forced the lump down my throat, keeping my spine straight, but my mouth shut.
“You’re weak,” Michael said. “There’s no way we can trust you.”
“You had years to come forward,” Kai pointed out.
I nodded. Yes. Yes, I did.
“It was hard,” Kai told me, and I could hear the tears in his throat. “We didn’t deserve it.”
My chin trembled, and I clenched my jaw to stop it.
“Will didn’t deserve it,” he continued.
I know. Just thinking about Will in a cell, surrounded by cruel people, locked up in gray walls…
“You’re not good enough for him,” Kai finally said.
I looked up, meeting his gaze despite my shoulders wanting to slump and the urge to fold in on myself.
I’d made a mistake. I wasn’t a bad person.
I wasn’t.
I turned to leave, but then I heard Damon’s voice behind me.
“We set Rika’s house on fire, Kai,” he said.
I turned and looked at him as he stared at his friend.
“Stole all her money,” he continued. “I kidnapped her, and you forced Banks to marry you. I tried to kill Will…”
“We made mistakes,” Kai argued with him. “We would never do that again.”
“Speak for yourself,” Damon fired back. “The role of the villain is only determined by who’s telling the story.”
An electric current ran under my skin, and I almost smiled, grateful.
They got redemption, because they felt they had their reasons.
Damon and Kai looked at each other, and even though Kai was the one I could see myself connecting to in high school, because he was stubborn with a clear idea of right and wrong, Damon had been my savior on more than one occasion when life had proved there was so much gray.
They were like yin and yang, and I understood. I got it now.
“You’ll make it up to us,” Michael finally spoke up, meeting my eyes. “You’ll stay at St. Killian’s with Rika and me.”
“No.”
“Yes,” he said.
He wanted to make sure I didn’t skip town. What was he going to do? Lock me up?
And then I paused, remembering that he could. They lived at St. Killian’s. He had a whole dungeon at his disposal. No one would hear me scream.
“I have a place to stay,” I told him. “In Thunder Bay.”
His eyes thinned on me, probably not trusting me, but probably not wanting to deal with the hassle, either.
“You don’t leave town,” he ordered. “You will pay your debt.”
I straightened. “I won’t leave town.”
He nodded once as Damon took a drink from his glass and Kai glared at me.
I shifted on my feet. “May I borrow someone’s phone, please?”
But Michael just raised his glass to his mouth again, mumbling, “Borrow one from the girls. We’re using ours.”
I shifted on my feet, finally turning around and rolling my eyes as I left the car. I ventured back the way I came, trailing from one box to the next, past the kitchen, the dining car, the cabins, a room with William Grayson engraved on the door, and the lounge car.
They weren’t using their phones, but at least he wasn’t telling me I couldn’t use one. For all he knew, I could be calling my brother and trying to get help.
But I wouldn’t.
I might be safer if I jumped on a plane