When I beat you at almost every exam in school!”
In answer, he just wiped harder.
“You’re wiping off all my face powder,” I complained.
“Makeup won’t improve someone like you, if that’s what you’re worried about.”
He applied iodine to the scratches and it stung. Or perhaps it was my pride.
“I’m quite popular, thank you.” I thought about some of my regulars at the May Flower—the ones who were at least putting in a credible effort to dance. Mr. Wong, the optometrist from Tiger Lane who only liked waltzes; old Mr. Khoo, who’d told me his doctor had advised him to get some exercise; Nirman Singh, the tall skinny Sikh whom I was certain was a schoolboy although he vehemently denied it. They’d all find other girls to dance with this week. Maybe they’d prefer them.
“So what are you worried about?” Shin rinsed his handkerchief with the last of the water.
I shook my head, unwilling to involve him further. “I need to get back to work.”
“You’re not going home?”
“Mother will only worry if I show up like this.” It would raise uncomfortable questions in Falim, with its network of gossip. Everyone knew about my stepfather’s temper.
Shin returned the mug to the shop, and we caught the bus back without speaking. There were too many people around, in any case, to discuss the bizarre events of that morning. Self-conscious about my scratched face, I kept my eyes on my lap. Shin got off at Falim, but not before slipping the glass bottle with the dried finger into his pocket.
“I’ll take care of it,” he said, forestalling my objections. And with that, he jumped off.
A sense of unease descended upon me; I shivered as a plump woman carrying a live chicken squeezed in. It was a white rooster with yellow eyes, the pupils angry dots. At Chinese funerals, a white rooster was released into the graveyard at the end of the ceremony. Of course, this lady might just be taking it home for dinner, but the sight of the white bird on Shin’s recently vacated seat filled me with dismay. As though the chill, liquid shadow haunting me had passed onto Shin.
9
Batu Gajah
Friday, June 5th
On rainy days, the new doctor, William Acton, writes letters. They’re all to his fiancée, Iris, though he knows she hasn’t read a single one.
Dear Iris, I think of you every day. The rain peters out and a weak sun appears. William puts down his pen.
On days when it doesn’t rain, he goes for long walks early in the morning with a pair of binoculars, ostensibly for bird-watching. William hesitates before taking the familiar detour through the neighboring rubber estate. He’s been secretly seeing a local woman, the wife of a plantation laborer. Her name is Ambika, and she’s Tamil, with smooth brown skin and long curling hair that smells like coconut oil. There’s a raised scar—a keloid—on her left breast in the shape of a butterfly. How many times has he pressed his lips against it? He finds it beautiful, although Ambika covers it up.
William always pays her, yet he thinks she likes him. At least, her smile is warm, though she never refuses his money. He thinks their meetings are a secret, and perhaps they are to the European community and even her husband, who drinks too much.
At least one other person knows, however. One of William’s former appendectomy patients—a Chinese salesman. It was pure bad luck that he caught Ambika and William together a few weeks ago when his car broke down near the rubber estate, leading him to cut through for help. They sprang apart as soon as they became aware of the intruder and the salesman said nothing, but he’d given William a look. That was the worst part, the knowing in his eyes. For unlike other locals, he knows William’s name and exactly where he works. Talk is bad for William, especially after what happened in England. To make matters worse, Ambika recently asked for more money. When William hesitated, she gave him a sullen stare, an expression that she’d never shown him before.
Walking through the rubber estate, he admires the neat rows of slender trees, imported from South America. Each tree has thin cuttings on its trunk and a small cup into which the milky latex sap drips. Before dawn, the tappers make their rounds, emptying each cup into a bucket. Ambika is one of them, though it’s her husband who takes the buckets to the processing center afterwards, making this a convenient time