pushed me far enough. Rather than calming down and walking away from a situation that had very little to do with me, I stepped forward, shoving through the small crowd.
“How about this?” I raised my voice so it would carry. “You’re all douchebags and this ain’t nothing more than a mediocre circle-jerk. Can we agree on that?”
They all turned and looked at me, their eyes glowing dully. The resulting effect was eerie enough to raise goosebumps on my skin, which I promptly shook off. “Get the fuck out of here,” I ordered. “All of you. Now.”
They looked at each other. “Says you and what army?” the first vamp demanded snidely. “We were here first. If anyone should be getting lost, it’s you.”
“Butt out, will you?” the Seattle vamp added. “Things are complicated enough without your ugly ass trying to interfere. Go back to the circus or whatever hole you crawled out of, you freak.”
“Nah.” I advanced into the alleyway, spreading my arms in the universal challenge-issuing gesture. “I’d rather we settle this here and now, wouldn’t you?” The faster I plummeted headlong toward a bad decision, the less bad it seemed. My knuckles burned with unused heat. I wanted to brand one of these wise guys right across the cheek.
The vamps exchanged looks. A murmur swept through their ranks. If I had been paying even slightly closer attention, I might have picked up on some clues that would’ve helped me avert the crisis that was seconds from occurring. But of course I missed every sign. I was too wrapped up in imagining the glory of fighting.
“C’mon, boys and girls.” The Seattle vamp cracked his neck. “Let’s show him what we’ve got.” With a sweeping motion of his arm, he led the charge straight down the center of the alley. I braced myself and met him with my shoulder. He reeled back, dazed. His nose looked off center after the collision. I felt a little bad about it, but not enough to reevaluate our attack strategy.
Good thing, too. They came in from all sides, swarming like a horde of insects. I didn’t get a chance to see where every one of them came from, nor how they kept arriving. The first couple waves were bearable, almost routine. I threw all kinds of vamps in all kinds of directions, sending them sprawling and scattering. Massive tongues of flame singed the brick walls on either side.
Then, as the numbers refused to diminish, I realized I might have a problem. There was no stemming the endless tide of the undead fuckers. And they were relentless, jumping right back after I’d brush them off. It took a long time, but I started to get tired. My punches turned sluggish. I didn’t want to move.
How could there be so many?
I fought as long as I was physically able, but in the end, they managed to restrain me. The hard ground underneath my face was almost a relief. I didn’t even care that they seemed to be celebrating my downfall.
“What should we do with him?” A circle of vampiric faces crowded around me. It was interesting to note that the crowd had chosen at some point to desegregate. Alaskan and Seattle vamps glared at me in unison.
“Throw him to the cops,” one said gruffly. “Tell them he’s the one behind that killing a mile from here. It doesn’t matter if he’s not. They’re looking for someone to blame, and it’ll get them off our backs.”
“Hmm. That’s not a bad idea.” A dozen heads gazed down at me. I felt like some dead stiff right before the autopsy.
“Screw off,” I muttered, somewhat less impressively than I meant it. It was dawning on me, slowly and unpleasantly, that I had been drained from the fight. I could barely lift my arms. The side of my face melted into the floor.
“Will he die if we leave him?” someone asked. It would’ve been touching if not for the hard edge of practicality around every syllable.
“If he does, he’s no good as a patsy,” came the reply. The vamps concurred, and a few of the strongest stepped forward. They grabbed me around the armpits and dragged me to my feet. “Don’t make trouble,” they warned. One of them tied a blindfold around my eyes. “And don’t peek. This is classified information.”
That was how I ended up in the back of a moving vampire caravan, being packed off to some secret hideaway in Anchorage. I sat staring at the jet black dark on