kitchen. Even if she wanted to, she could not have stopped her. Vivien was on a mission. Tess closed her eyes with exhaustion, feeling overwhelmed with what she’d learned. She’d been unkind in her thoughts towards this woman, without really knowing her or knowing of her loss. She was someone to admire, not ridicule. She was living and making her life useful and she made Tess feel ashamed. And very tired as she heard pots and pans clattering in the kitchen.
Vivien was smiling at her kindly when she nudged Tess awake. ‘I ate the scrambled egg. You’ve been asleep for two hours, but I had to wake you, I’m afraid.’
‘What is it?’ Tess asked sleepily.
Vivien sat down. ‘Nothing to be alarmed about I’m sure, but Mark just texted me as he knows I’m here. I sent him a text a few minutes ago and his reply came almost straight back.’ She pressed her lips firmly together as if wanting to keep back what she was going to say, before giving an exasperated sigh. ‘I’m sure it’s nothing. Just Mark being a bit dramatic, I dare say.’
Tess sat up straighter. ‘What’s happened? What does Mark want?’
She took a deep breath. ‘Well, he wants to know where Daniel is. It seems the naughty man is nowhere to be found. They’ve had to cancel an operation because he didn’t turn up. He’s gone AWOL, Mark said.’
Tess gazed at her confused. ‘Well, where is he?’
Vivien smiled. ‘If you don’t know then I’m sure I don’t. Look, let me quickly reply to Mark and then I’m going to make you a cup of tea.’
Vivien returned with a tray which she set on a table beside Tess. As well as the tea she’d made ham sandwiches cut into triangles and artfully arranged with cut-up cucumber and tomato for garnish.
‘You need to eat and not to worry. Your errant husband has at last sent word with an apology.’
Tess felt nauseous and didn’t want the sandwiches, but she’d try to eat them seeing the effort gone into making them.
‘Thank you, Vivien, and thank you for being so kind.’
Vivien sat down on the sofa. She moved a cushion onto her lap to get more comfortable and then sat back. ‘I can’t quite fathom you, Tess. I thought most nurses were chatty and confident and a bit bossy. You don’t seem any of those things.’
Tess wanted to answer that she was once all those things, but she couldn’t. She couldn’t be sure anymore of who she had been, or if she’d just been an imitation of how a person should seem.
‘How do I seem?’ she asked.
‘I don’t know, Tess. Like a guarded little secret, I think. Holding your true self hidden from all the world. You remind me of my daughter. She had pretty blue eyes like you and I could never fathom what she was thinking.’
Tess wanted to look away. Vivien’s eyes had changed. A buried sorrow was showing, and Tess wanted to let her be private, have a moment alone. It passed as Vivien sipped her tea, and then she seemed to shrug it away.
‘Come on, eat up. I want you to show me this lovely house of yours. I’m dying to see it properly.’
Tess could have had a friend in this woman, she realised. She sat curled in her armchair watching Vivien’s mouth move as she talked and cherished the moment, getting the same feeling of peace she’d had with Cameron. They spent an age in every room as Vivien was fascinated and wanted to ask where everything had come from. She loved the old headboards and abundance of white linen found in blanket boxes at the ends of beds. She was curious about Tess’s tastes and wanted to know if she had chosen it all. Tess told her Daniel had, and she hadn’t seemed surprised.
‘He’s a bit old-fashioned, isn’t he?’ she remarked. ‘Mark says he’s very conservative. Always sits proper in the dining hall at work.’ She wrinkled her nose impishly. ‘I think you’ve got yourself a Mark Darcy there, Tess. Or should I call you Bridget? Does he fold his underpants?’
Tess smiled amiably, but declined to answer. She was becoming fond of this woman and didn’t wish to disillusion her.
When the tour was over Vivien buttoned her pale blue jacket and inspected her face and hair in a compact mirror. ‘There. Not bad, if I say so myself. It’s been a pleasure spending time with you, Tess. Mind to take some more tablets in an