Never Enough - By Ashley Johnson Page 0,24

my mom. No matter how mad I got or how screwed up it was, at the end of the day she is my Mom. "I just wanted to tell you that. I won't keep you but please call more often. I love you so much Macy. Can I ask you something please though before we hang up? I need to know."

"I love you too Mom, thank you. What is it?"

“Did he ever actually...”she began sobbing and I knew what she was getting ready to ask. It’d been hidden for years and everything was about to spill out at once and she actually believed me? I tried to be brave and quit crying but I couldn’t. The tears were still steadily streaming. All the memories flooded back and it made me sick to my stomach. Memories I’d always prayed would stay low and never come back up. Memories I never wanted to relive as long as I walked this earth. “Macy, are..you..a..v-virgin?”

I sat there terrified afraid to answer the question. I’d blocked this for so long and I really didn’t care to bring all this back. Trevor gave me a concerned look and touched my arm. I let him because I was scared he’d never want to touch me again if he ever fully understood what this conversation was. I drew in a deep breath, clenched my chest with my free arm then whispered, “No.”

Mom began frantically screaming and I couldn’t make out a single word she said. I tried to listen and squeeze in a word or two to let her know that even though that asshole had stolen my innocence I had made myself ok, that I was stronger than ever before. Yes I had my bad days, but the good days outnumbered the bad. That’s what I wanted to tell her. After a minute or so, I had to place the phone down because the reality of it all was continuing to sink back in and I sobbed uncontrollably. Trevor pulled me back into a hug and I cried on his shoulder. I wanted Halley in here with me seeing as how she already knew everything but I didn’t want Trevor to feel he wasn’t good enough. Frankly, I was surprised she hadn’t barged her way inside yet. I could still hear Mom screaming even though I wasn’t holding the phone. Literally, it felt as though time had stopped. I heard my name and picked up the phone.

“Macy, I want to see about pressing charges against him. I was so ignorant and blind to this. He can’t and won’t get away with it.”

“Ok Mom,” I was still sobbing and more than ready to end this phone call. “Can we talk later Mom; I really just want to rest now.”

“Yes baby, I’m going to call a lawyer. I’ll get back with you as soon as I know something.”

We said our goodbyes and hung up the phone and Trevor was still there holding me. The tears had begun to subside but every so often I was unable to hold a few back and the waterworks would start all over again. He never let me go. He never asked any questions. He sat right there next to me the entire time. I always knew that eventually if Trevor and I made anything work out he'd have to know and without realizing it, he'd almost heard everything.

Chapter 6

My eyes were finally starting to dry and Trevor was still holding me. As much as I didn’t want to tell him, I knew he needed to know. After all, he’d just witnessed my breakdown and heard probably more than he needed to and for some reason he was still sitting here. I glanced towards a picture of me when I was four years old that I also keep on my nightstand. I was so young and innocent and probably the happiest kid in the world. I was wearing some Disney character outfit eating a strawberry snow cone. Those were the best days. Now look at me, 23 and a whole hot mess. Why couldn’t I go back to being four then just rewrite my whole life story? It’s never that easy though. Life went on and so have I. There were no more strawberry snow cones in my life, and the ones that were there were not as good as I remembered.

I sat continuing to stare at different pictures around my room and remember the good times in life. There was another one of