I have to sit up and grip my chest. I look over at Jake, and he’s just driving with a lazy smile on his face.
He turns to me and tilts his head. “You okay, babe?”
I nod, breathing harshly. I put a bright smile on my face even though my heart is pounding and my hands are clammy.
“Yeah. I think it was the cider. Too many bubbles,” I lie because it’s more like a panic attack.
He laughs and kisses my hand, looking back toward the winding road and enjoying the drive.
Meanwhile, I sit here, confused by this sensation. For a moment there, I thought I was dreaming.
Dreaming of a day where Jake and I were in love.
Dreaming of a forever.
Dreaming with our eyes wide open is dangerous. That’s when people fall apart. It scares the hell out of me.
“Do you mind if we take a detour?” he asks.
I nod even though I thought we were already on one. As if sensing I’m having a moment of unease, he lifts my hand to his lips and places a kiss on the top, giving it a squeeze. His body tilts slightly toward me as he drives. It makes me curl my leg under me and face him fully.
He pulls up to a cliff overlooking the valley. It’s vast and deep, beautiful with the orange glow of the early evening in the horizon. He lowers the windows in the car and opens his door. I do the same and get out, walking toward the edge.
The view is stunning, but I feel the heavy weight in my belly shift up to my heart. I take a deep breath of the sweet lake air.
Behind me, the music from his car is loud. A soulful melody plays, and he closes the door as he walks over to me.
“I’m going to do something super cheesy but ridiculously romantic,” he says, taking my hands.
I look at him quizzically. “Are you warning me for a reason?”
“I’m preparing you.” He pulls me close and wraps my hands around his neck. “To be utterly and tragically enraptured by me.”
I laugh out loud. “I love when you get all cocky on me.”
He kisses my nose. “I know.”
I follow his lead as he sways from side to side. His hands tighten on my lower back as he holds me closely.
“What brought this on?” I ask as we dance in the breeze.
“I just had a feeling you needed an interlude.”
He knows there’s something off with me. It’s comforting and frightening at the same time.
My body feels rigid, even as I mold myself against him. My chest rises as I take in a hard breath and lift my chin. That’s when I see it. The look in his eyes.
Those deep brown eyes are staring at me with an intensity that holds me, wraps me in a warm blanket, and pulls me in closer. There’s a crinkle in his eyes as he looks at me with a demeanor that has me letting go of that breath I was holding. I rest my forehead against his, breathing in his air, drinking in his expression, and staring back into those damn eyes that make me melt.
This is what he does to me.
He doesn’t tear down my walls. No, he lets me keep them up. But he opens his own up and welcomes me and all of my issues into his world, holding on for dear life and letting me know he’s with me.
And I fall hard through his walls and grip on to him, placing my head on his shoulder. I let this man—this beautiful, charismatic man—hold me as we dance on a cliff, keeping me from falling. Keeping me where my feet are planted firmly on the ground because that’s where I need to be. And that’s where he’ll have me.
Chapter Nineteen
I’ve been on a writing spree. Unlike the last sprints that came in spurts, I’ve spent the last five days writing like my life depends on it. From dawn to dusk, my fingers tip-tap on the keyboard. When I’m not creating new scenes, I’m editing and molding the previous ones, building out the story to be something big, bright, and beautiful. It’s amazing how the words are coming to me so easily now. What started as the hardest book I’d ever written has ended as the easiest.
Once the sun sets, I close my laptop, and enjoy my second favorite pastime: Jake.
Knock, knock, knock.
Where his knock was once an inconvenience, it’s now a welcome distraction from a hard