no Christian Grey. I want a Christian in my life. Not this?”
“Are you admitting you read Fifty Shades of Grey?”
With a swipe of her hand in the air, she explains, “I’m not the only person who feels fairy tales only hurt society. We need to lift these women up and tell them what life is really like, not lie to them.”
“So, I should write about dirtbags? Or better yet, date one?”
“Dear, no. However, if a man presents himself as one of these impressive heroes—who don’t really exist—then he’s a loser because he’s only pretending.”
I consider her words. All men are going to present themselves in their best light. During my two dates, each man started off being a gentleman. Only one stayed that way to the end. While I agree with her—and I always have—I’m starting to wonder if she’d ever give someone a chance again to make it to the end of the date.
“Do you think all men are losers?” I ask.
“No. Of course I know there are decent men. But in relationships, you must be wary. Men are incapable of monogamy.”
“Just because you got a bad deal from my father doesn’t mean all men are like that.”
She folds her arms across her body and taps her foot. “Michael definitely wasn’t a good deal either. Case in point of a man who pretends to be the hero when he’s really a zero.”
Our conversation has just crossed a line, and we both know it. I stand up, needing the space away from her and the mention of Michael.
“Clearly, I know there’s no such thing as the perfect man. And while I thank you for being concerned about my views on the male species and the perception of romantic love, I am more than aware of what the reality is like. The reason I’m single has nothing to do with the heroes I write.”
“Oh, I’m aware. It’s your good-for-nothing father.” She sighs. “Come on now. I didn’t come over here to start a fight with you on our perception of the opposite sex. Men will be men. They’re hunters by nature. Take Jackie and JFK for example. They were America’s couple. She was a woman we were all meant to look up to, and her husband cheated on her left and right. I’ll never understand how she was supposed to just accept it, yet she did.”
I walk to the kitchen, needing more coffee almost as much as I need a reprieve. It’s hard to think she’s right. I have to believe she’s not. There has to be men out there who are as good as the men I write in my books.
I take my refilled mug and walk to the living room. “Did Dad cheat on you?”
“There’s no reason to talk about what he did or didn’t do.”
“You’ve never really told me much. I think I should know more about him now that I’m older.”
“There’s nothing really to know, except that he left us. We were together for a little over a year when I found out I was pregnant with you. He said he didn’t want anything to do with you. So, we broke up, and I had you nine months later. He came back for a few years and then one day decided the nuclear family wasn’t something he wanted.”
“How did you two meet?”
“We met in college. We had a class together. He wanted to eventually move to LA, and you know I never want to leave the Midwest. It’s my home. You were five when he decided to make a go of it as an actor.”
“Did you ever try to reconnect with him?”
She shakes her head. “I didn’t want anything to do with a man who didn’t want to love his child. Believe me, it was for the best. He’s living on the West Coast, trying to live the California dream. He got what he wanted, and I got what I wanted.” She scoots closer and places her hand on mine. “This is reality. There are a lot of unhappy people living in marriages that are horrible only because it’s what society tells them they have to do. I’m here to say, you don’t have to have a man to get everything you want.”
Her hand squeezing mine makes me content with how my life has turned out. I might not have a present father, but my mother’s dedication is everything. That’s why I have to make sure she is honest about what she wants in life.
“Are you ever