shame my parents by causing a massive scandal. I was about to have a child out of wedlock. Perhaps such things would be acceptable in some families, but not Church of Scotland members.” She smiled without any trace of humor. “My parents would have thrown me out on the streets.”
She’d been worried about her child. Even then, her baby had acquired a supreme importance. She would have done anything to protect him.
She could remember every moment of that visit to Adaire Hall. Mary had just acquired her wheeled chair and she was no longer imprisoned in her room. They had been sitting on the terrace, and Ellen had tearfully confessed her sin to her friend.
“Mary had an idea. She could no longer have children, and here I was, about to have a baby.”
She forced herself to look at Jennifer. There was a dawning awareness in the younger woman’s eyes. Her cheeks were becoming pink, and Jennifer’s hands were clasped together in what looked like a death grip.
“Mary asked my parents if I could accompany her to England. That’s the story we gave out. Because of her fragile condition, I was going to be a nurse/companion. Alex accompanied us, of course.”
Even if she stopped right now, Jennifer would know the truth, but that would be sheer cowardice on her part. Instead, she continued.
“We stayed at a small house that belonged to a friend of Alex’s. Only one other person called on us—the midwife. When my child was born, Mary and Alex claimed her as their own. We named her Jennifer.”
Where had the tears come from? She hadn’t thought to weep, but suddenly she was.
Jennifer didn’t say anything for a long moment. Neither did she look away. The color rose on her cheeks, but when she still didn’t speak a moment later, Ellen almost begged her to say something, anything. She had tried to anticipate Jennifer’s reaction to the news, but she hadn’t thought that the younger woman would break the silence with a question.
“Did everyone accept that I was their child?”
Ellen nodded. “We were gone long enough. I had been able to hide my condition. No one knew us in the English town where we stayed. Alex even sent word back to the Hall that the reason they were staying away so long was Mary’s pregnancy and how difficult the journey home might prove to be.”
“Did he go along with the story?”
Ellen smiled. “You have to understand how much Alex loved Mary. Whatever she wanted, he was willing to do. Plus, I think he wanted another child as well. He never saw you as different. He always loved you as the child of his heart.”
She had to make Jennifer understand. “Mary did this for me, not for herself. She knew what would happen if anyone found out. It would be a scandal that I wouldn’t be able to live down.” She cleared her throat. “Everyone loved Mary. Even before the fire she was beloved by not only the staff of the Hall, but by Alex’s friends and their acquaintances in Edinburgh. I’ve never heard a bad word spoken of her. So, if there were any suspicions, no one voiced them.”
She blinked back her tears and cleared her throat again.
“The three of us vowed that it would remain a secret, that no one would ever know that you weren’t Mary’s child. She wanted me to have a place in your life, so I became your godmother. In a sense, we shared you. You spent time with me and lived at Adaire Hall.”
Jennifer nodded. “I never knew. I never suspected.”
“Oh, my darling girl, you were never to suspect. Mary was a wonderful mother. I couldn’t have found anyone better. If I couldn’t be with you, then she was the perfect substitute.”
She watched as the full ramifications of her confession occurred to Jennifer.
A moment later, Jennifer came and knelt at Ellen’s feet. She grabbed Ellen’s hands and said, “Are you saying that Gordon isn’t my brother? He’s not my brother? We’re not related?”
Ellen nodded. “I couldn’t have you suffer for my sin, Jennifer.”
“Oh, Ellen, Ellen.”
Whatever else she might’ve said was buried in the hug Jennifer gave her. A few minutes later, Jennifer pulled back and looked at Ellen, her face awash with tears of joy. Her next words didn’t surprise Ellen in the least. In fact, she’d already given orders for the carriage to be brought around early the next morning.
“I have to go to him, Ellen.”
“And we shall, my darling girl. As fast