here. The thought echoed in Jennifer’s mind and harnessed itself to her breath and her heartbeat. He was here. Even if he was different, he was Gordon. He’d finally come home. He was here.
Yet he hadn’t returned for her, but for Sean. To do his duty by his father.
She sat at her vanity and stared at herself. She looked tired, but she’d wanted everything done for the celebration of the birth. They’d cleaned Adaire Hall from top to bottom, including all the windows. She was a little too pale, and there was an expression in her eyes that hinted at sadness.
Her life was enjoyable in a great many ways. She had her books, her painting—or her dabbles as Harrison called them. She walked every day, not only around the Hall, but a path into the hills surrounding the house. Sometimes she sketched or painted or read. Occasionally, if her duties allowed it, she simply sat and watched as the sun traveled over a summer sky and the shadows grew deep, leading to the endless days of a Highland summer.
She’d always return home slowly and perhaps a little reluctantly. She loved her home, but she knew, only too well, that it didn’t belong to her. She was here because she had nowhere else to live and no one wanted her. The estate belonged to Harrison, and if his child was a boy, he would inherit Adaire Hall, the title, and all that accompanied it.
That was the way of the world and she understood it. Even though she had always cared so much more about their home than Harrison, she knew she’d never be more than an afterthought in its history. Perhaps a footnote: Jennifer Adaire, the sixth Earl’s spinster sister, was instrumental in managing the estate for a number of years.
Time had been kind to the house. There weren’t many indications that five years had passed as far as the estate was concerned. Perhaps the trees had grown a little taller. There was dry rot in one of the drawing rooms. The roof had been replaced on one of the wings. Other than that, nothing had changed.
As for her, she was older than most of the women on the marriage mart. If she was firmly on the shelf, she had no one but herself to blame. Gordon hadn’t limited her life. He hadn’t restricted her to Adaire Hall. She’d done that on her own.
We’re better off without him. He was a disruptive influence.
Those were Harrison’s words after Gordon left. Harrison had seemed fiercely glad that Gordon was no longer at the Hall. He’d told her, on more than one occasion, to stop staring out the window like a forlorn puppy.
Her godmother was the only one who seemed to understand.
“I miss him so much. Sometimes I don’t think I can stand it. Why did he leave? Why?”
Ellen had patted her on the back, then kissed her on the forehead. “I didn’t know your Gordon,” she said, “but I imagine that the world was calling him. From what you’ve said about him, perhaps he would never be content to take an easy path in life.”
Ellen had been right. He needed to find his own place, his own way in the world.
Had he done that?
He was a man you would notice when he walked into a room. He would stand in the doorway and every pair of eyes would gravitate to him. The men would feel immediately intimidated, and the women would want an introduction.
There was something in his gaze that hadn’t been there before. A wariness coupled with something else. Knowledge, perhaps, of himself. This was a man who gave you the impression that he knew exactly who and what he was, and was prepared to defend himself to anyone.
She had not expected that he would have that kind of impact on her. Or that she would feel suddenly inept and shy.
She stood in front of her wardrobe, selecting first one dress and then another. Nothing looked good enough. Everything she selected was too plain and serviceable. She had a few dresses that Ellen’s seamstress had made for her, but if she wore one of those, she would look garishly overdressed.
What a choice: to wear something utterly plain or much too formal.
The white lace blouse and blue skirt were going to have to suffice. She attached a ruby brooch to her blouse and surveyed herself in the pier glass.
She looked like a governess.
Perhaps she should put her hair up. If she took the