My Grumpy Old Bear - Jayda Marx Page 0,17

were tiny, but had huge appetites. Noah tossed our cups and I thought he’d want to leave, but he seemed perfectly content to walk around the space holding my hand.

And snapping pictures. Good lord, the man took a lot of pictures. He took one of every butterfly we encountered. He took enough of me to fill an entire album, and then he took even more of him and me together; hugging, kissing, making stupid faces, pointing at butterflies. He even made me sniff a flower so he could capture it. To my surprise, it didn’t annoy me. Watching Noah come alive and enjoy himself made me enjoy myself. He made me feel light and free for the first time in years; like I was bursting free of my goddamn cocoon.

We stood on the bridge above the pond watching koi fish swimming around in circles. Noah had gotten them some food from a quarter machine and was crooning baby talk to them as he sprinkled the pellets into their water. He offered me some, but I was enjoying watching him, and watching the fish lose their fucking minds over the little brown balls.

This was the happiest I could ever remember being, but still something nagged my mind. Noah had told me everything about his life; his hardships, his accomplishments, everything. And in turn, I’d told him everything about mine...except for one thing. A big thing. Something I was afraid may make him walk away from me. Part of me wanted to keep my secret, but another, louder and fucking irritating part of myself said I needed to be open with Noah. I was falling fast for the man, and I knew I couldn’t keep something this big from him. I just hoped he would stay. I didn’t think I could survive without him now that I’d seen how amazing life was with him.

“Is something wrong?” Noah asked, looking at me with concern in his eyes. I hadn’t noticed him looking away from the fish. I also hadn’t noticed the way my brows were tucked in or how my mouth was squished into a flat line until he spoke.

I relaxed my face and gave him a tight smile, which made him grin brightly. He seemed to love it when I smiled, even if it was a small and probably terrible one. “I, um...I was just thinking. There’s something I need to tell you; something I haven’t been completely honest with you about.”

Noah’s smile quickly disappeared. “Oh god.” He swayed on the spot as he gripped the bridge. “Is there someone else? You said you didn’t want to share me, but I guess I didn’t ask if I had to share you. But I can’t, Brooks. I can’t do it.”

“No,” I replied firmly, resting my hand on his shoulder. “There’s no one else. I told you I’m all in on this and I meant it. I’ve never cheated on anyone and I won’t. I just want you, Sunshine.”

He took a deep breath and nodded his head. “And I just want you, Brooks. I really like you. A lot.”

“I like you a lot too,” I admitted, and his shining grin returned.

“Then we can work through it,” he insisted, taking my hand. “Whatever it is, we can get through it together.”

God, I hope so. I gripped his hand and led him off of the bridge over to a bench. I sat down, thankful for the break on my back, and Noah settled himself next to me. I stared at the ground, raking my free hand through my hair as I tried to come up with the words to start what would surely be a fucked up conversation.

“Just tell me,” Noah requested. “Please, the suspense has me building a list of every possible terrible thing you could be trying to figure out how to say to me. Just give it to me straight.”

I raised my eyes to his and took a deep breath. “I have a son.”

Noah blinked at me. “I…” He blinked again. “Okay, that was not on the list.” I had so much to say to him, but couldn’t find the words, so I just stared at him while he tried to wrap his mind around the information I just gave him. “So...I take it he’s adopted?”

“No, he’s my biological son.”

“Oh.” Noah’s brow furrowed. “So...you’re bi? Or…?”

“No, I’m gay,” I replied, making him appear even more confused. I sighed. “My son is twenty seven years old. I got a girl named Beth pregnant when