My Grumpy Old Bear - Jayda Marx Page 0,18

we were eighteen. It was just a hookup; I was questioning things and trying to convince myself I was straight. All it really did was confirm the opposite. I mean, I was able to finish...obviously, since she got pregnant, but it was terrible. Eye opening for sure.”

“Okay…” Noah replied, his eyes narrowed in confusion. I’d gotten off track.

“Anyway, like I said, it was just a hookup. I knew her from school, but we weren’t close. We got together at a party, got drunk, and things happened. I didn’t know that she got pregnant. I ran into her at the store a decade later and she had a little boy with her who looked to be around ten. I did the math and confronted her. She confessed he was mine, and that she never told me because shortly after our encounter she got together with another man, whom she was then married to. He thought the child was his and she never corrected him. She swore to me the boy had a good life and begged me to not interfere.”

“Damn.” Noah scrubbed his hand over his mouth, looking overwhelmed.

“So I didn’t. Up until that point, I didn’t know the kid even existed, and obviously Beth didn’t want me involved. The boy looked happy and healthy, so I didn’t raise a fuss. She did allow me to add her on social media so that I could see his pictures as he grew up; I got to see all of his sports photos throughout school and him with his date at prom. It was nice, but as I got older, I couldn’t help feeling like I missed out on so much with him. He had a father figure who really was a great man, but I was jealous of their connection when I was his real father and he didn’t even know me.”

Noah didn’t speak; he just stared at me with wide eyes. “So anyway, after my accident and everything fell apart with my relationship and my parents, I wanted to get away. I wasn’t entirely honest when I said the music and mountains drew me here. I’d learned from social media that Jonathan - that’s my son’s name - was attending school at the University of Tennessee. I had the money and the motivation, so I bought a home here to be close to him.”

“I called Beth and told her what I’d done. I begged her to let me reach out to him. I wanted to get to know him as adults and maybe become friends. I don’t know if it was guilt or compassion, but she agreed on the condition she could tell her husband first to prepare him. Well, when she did, he blew up. He accused her of lying to him for twenty years, and they ended up getting a divorce. I waited for the air to clear and didn’t contact Jonathan until almost a year later. He blamed me for the whole thing, and said I should’ve just stayed away from him. That I’d broken up a happy home for nothing; that I’d obviously not cared about him when he was younger, and was only reaching out to him because I no longer had any financial responsibilities toward him since he was an adult.”

“Oh, Brooks…” Noah’s lip trembled and his eyes swam with unshed tears as he looked at me.

“Even after he graduated college, he stayed in the area. I tried contacting him again a couple of years later, hoping time had softened the blow, but he told me never to call him again and blocked me on all social media. I ruined my chances with him and tore up his family because I was selfish.” My own eyes filled with moisture and I blinked at the ceiling. “I just wanted to know my son.”

Noah’s body slammed against mine as he wrapped his arms around me. He buried his face into my neck and sobbed as his chest heaved and his body shook. I was stunned that my story had affected him so strongly; I was scared of him walking away, but here he was crying into my shoulder and appearing heartbroken for me.

“I’m so sorry,” he mumbled into my neck. “But you can’t blame yourself, Brooks. You didn’t do anything wrong. You weren’t selfish; you had the right to know your son. If anyone was selfish, it was Beth for not telling her husband the truth and keeping Jonathan away from you all those years just to