awkward when I looked up from the report I was reading and found her standing at my office door. She was dressed in her usual Penny style—navy blue skirt, short-sleeved white blouse with a pattern of tiny blue anchors on it. I knew that the pattern was anchors because earlier today we’d been in a meeting and I’d sat close enough to see what the little shapes were. I’d realized as I stared at her blouse that I looked like a creep checking out her chest, even though we were supposed to be engaged, so I’d made myself look away.
Penny’s luxurious curls were tied up, swept back from her face. My engagement ring was still on her left hand. Her eyes behind her glasses were wary as she looked at me, the emotion mixed with something deeper. I knew exactly how she felt.
“Hi,” she said.
“Hi,” I replied.
She shifted her weight on her low heels and didn’t come all the way into my office. “Did you, um, did you see the report W.B. sent?”
I nodded. “I’m reading it now.”
“It’s very interesting.”
“I agree.”
“We’ll have a meeting in the New Year to discuss the numbers.”
“I think that’s a good idea.”
This was ridiculous. We were ridiculous. I wanted to go to her and kiss her. I pushed my chair back and stood up before I could stop myself. Then I had to lean on my desk, like that was what I’d intended to do all along.
“Have you settled into your apartment?” I asked her.
Penny nodded, taking another step into the room. “Yes, I’ve got a lot of unpacking done.”
“Do you need any help with anything?”
“No, no, I’m fine.”
I wondered if she’d put her bed together yet. If she’d done that by herself. I should have helped her with that. Now I was thinking about Penny’s bed, and Penny in bed, and I needed to stop.
“It’s a nice apartment,” Penny said into the silence between us. “Thank you for helping me find it.”
“No problem at all.” Jesus. Man up, Wesley. “Penny, we need to discuss what we’re going to do. You know, about Friday.”
Friday was Christmas Eve, two days away. We had to be married by midnight.
Penny nodded. “Yes, okay.” She stepped all the way into my office and closed the door behind her. Now she was closer to me, but not close enough. “We need a plan.”
“I got us a marriage license,” I said.
Her mouth dropped open for a second, and then she recovered herself. “Okay.”
“And I found a Justice of the Peace who will work on Christmas Eve. As a favor to me. So everything is set. Legally, I mean.”
She blew out a sigh, her shoulders dropping. “We really have to do this, don’t we? There’s no way out.”
I nodded. “It’s just a legal thing. You know, for the good of the company. A piece of paper that doesn’t have to mean anything, right?”
Penny bit her lip, wincing a little. But then she nodded again. “That’s very practical. For the good of the company, as you say. We get that piece of paper, and the merger goes through as planned.”
“Right. It can be…friendly.”
“Of course. I agree with you, Wes. We both signed that piece of paper a year ago, and I’ve looked at the legalities myself. There’s no way out of this. We have to go ahead.”
My wife. Penny was going to be my wife, at least on paper, however briefly. She was going to be mine, even if only in the legal sense.
Did I want her to be mine in other ways? Yes. Yes, I did. But we barely knew each other, and she didn’t want that. It was too soon. It wasn’t practical.
“So listen,” I said. “Here’s my plan. We go in front of the Justice of the Peace on Friday and we do the thing. And then afterward—”
She looked at me with hope in her eyes. “Afterward?”
The words stuck in my throat. Afterward, we get a divorce. That was practical, too, but I couldn’t say it. I took a step closer to her, like she was a magnet I couldn’t back away from. I searched my brain for the words I’d planned, but I didn’t want to tell this beautiful woman that we were going to get a divorce. We hadn’t even gotten married yet. Was it better to discuss the divorce before the wedding, or after?
What the hell was I supposed to do here?
But she was waiting for me to speak, so I said, “After the wedding, we can—”
I