a small smile. And yep, I could tell by the spark in his stare that he knew there was a story there with me and Remy. He was more perceptive than people gave him credit for.
I picked up the second whiskey and swallowed that down too.
“You should bring him by sometime,” Kellan said. “He’s welcome to hang out, obviously. It’s cool you’ve reconnected with an old friend.”
I couldn’t help wondering what his response would be if he knew it was Remington Monroe. It wasn’t that I didn’t understand why Remy was worried. I did. It couldn’t be easy, especially since he struggled with that shit anyway—being social, having attention on him, unless he was singing—and being Remington made it worse. But God, I wanted him to fucking live his life. To be happy. Had he ever in his whole life been happy?
“He knows he’s welcome.” I shrugged, really wanting to change the subject. “Knox, how are things going at the store?”
As I hoped, that steered the conversation away from me, away from Remy. We all chatted for a bit, Griff back and forth between us and customers.
“Why do you keep looking at your phone?” Kellan asked Josh.
“This guy I hooked up with once is messaging. He wants me to go see him, but he’s like half an hour away. I can’t decide if getting my nut is worth the drive.”
Everyone laughed except Griff, who rolled his eyes.
“One of the downfalls of being queer and living in a small town—not a lot of options. That’s why I locked this one down.” Kellan pointed to Chase, who leaned in and bit his finger. “Ouch! That hurt.”
“Speaking of orgasms…” Chase nuzzled Kellan’s neck.
I had a hell of a lot of respect for Kellan and Chase. It couldn’t be easy on them, especially after what they went through and Chase being local law enforcement. But neither hid who they were to each other, and anyone at Griff’s knew to keep their mouths shut.
“Lalalalalala.” Griff plugged his ears and sang teasingly, pretending he couldn’t hear them, eliciting more laughs from all of us.
“You have the right idea, brother.” I held my glass up to Josh.
He cocked his head slightly in return, and the spark I saw there told me there was interest.
Maybe that was what I needed. Someone local, who wanted the same things I did. To fuck sometimes, to hang out, and not to take it too seriously. Maybe I needed to see Cynthia more, if she was down. Or a guy. I hadn’t been with a man in…fuck, in too damn long.
“Let me have another one.” I nodded toward my glass, realizing I still had it in my hand.
“You’re not driving,” Chase said.
“Yes, Officer. But I wouldn’t anyway.”
“I’ll take you.” Knox’s dark brows pulled together as he studied me. Yeah, he knew something was going on with me, and I hated that something was going on with me, because I wasn’t supposed to give a shit if Remy didn’t want to hang out. My thoughts were getting all jumbled together, already. My reaction to Remy staying home was over-the-top. Logically, I knew that, but I couldn’t seem to change how I felt. I should have known from the start that this friend shit wouldn’t work with him.
We got off onto another subject, and I tried to chill the fuck out.
It wasn’t long before the liquid worked right through me and I had to take a piss. I pushed to stand up, then looked over to see Josh had stood about a second before I did. It was coincidental on both our parts, but yeah, there was also some kind of something glinting in his eyes. Josh was a good-looking guy—dark-brown hair and a beauty mark on his face that was hot as hell.
A minute later, we were both at urinals, with three empties between us. I took a quick leak, finishing before him and heading over to wash my hands. Damned if I didn’t linger, unsure if this was what I wanted, but maybe I needed something to remind me that Remy was a friend and that was all he’d ever be.
Then Josh was there, washing his hands as well. I turned to look at him, and his eyes, full of want, were on me.
“I’m taking a shot in the dark here. I don’t know if this is a real possibility, but if you’re looking for a little fun, for someone to take you home other than Knox, we can go home together.