guitar while he jerked me off. It was shit, but it didn’t matter. Afterward, I set the guitar down and jacked him off too, before we turned off the lights and lay in bed, sweaty and come-y and sated.
“You’re gonna make it, Rem. You don’t think you will, but I know it.”
I wanted that, God, I wanted it. “The odds aren’t in my favor. How many people want to be musicians and fail?”
“I don’t give a shit about them. I swear, I think you’re made of music…like there’s no blood in there, only lyrics and notes. Well, maybe blood, since I get your dick hard so easily. And come too. You have some of that.”
Then we were laughing and kissing again. When he fell asleep, I sneaked out of bed and grabbed my notebook and a pen.
Who I am when I’m with you,
That’s who I always wanna be.
To see myself through your eyes,
To know myself through your touch.
It’s where I always wanna be, yeah, where I always wanna be.
CHAPTER TWO
Lawson
I was perched on a stool in Griff’s, the bar owned by my friend Griffin, who was making drinks. On one side of me was my buddy Knox, Chase on the other. Knox and I both had a beer, but Chase didn’t. He was a local patrol officer and best friends with Griffin, who was also the brother of Chase’s boyfriend, Kellan, who was at the pool table with his friends Josh and Natalie. We were a crazy group, and often congregated at Griff’s, a good place for us all to meet up. It wasn’t always about drinking, though I did enjoy an ice-cold beer, but about hanging out. It wasn’t as if there was a whole lot to do in Havenwood.
“I ran up on a guy broken down yesterday,” Chase said from beside me. “New in town. He’s a little different. Can’t put my finger on what it is. He’s your neighbor, by the way. Bought the old Jackson place.”
“No shit? I didn’t know it was for sale.” If I had, I might have found a way to buy it myself. I wanted that property. I’d always wanted it. That along with my own…hell, there were plenty of options in that. Plus, the Jackson place had the lake. “I tried for it myself. They wouldn’t budge. Not that I could afford it, anyway.”
To do that, I would have to get money from my parents, which would come with all sorts of fucking strings I sure as shit didn’t want to be tied to. They were good people, and they loved me, but I also knew I was a bit of a disappointment. I didn’t want to take over Grant’s, and I didn’t want Sunrise to be more than a small café. I didn’t need all that. Never had. At one point I thought I did, but I’d been lying to myself, because that was who I thought I had to be.
And the last thing I wanted to do was think about who had helped me see otherwise. That motherfucker didn’t belong in my thoughts anymore.
“Well, this guy bought it,” Chase continued. “Got weird when I mentioned I had a boyfriend, but was apologetic afterward, so I’m not sure how I feel about him. So yeah, you got a new neighbor.”
One I thought maybe I disliked already. He bought the land I wished I could own, and he made Chase feel uncomfortable. I didn’t like that. He and Kellan had been through enough already. Plus, my being bisexual might not be something these guys knew about me, but it wasn’t because I was ashamed of it. I just hadn’t been with a guy in a long-ass time. “Hmm. Maybe I’ll go introduce myself.”
“Eh, don’t do it on my account,” Chase replied, just as Kellan walked up and put his arms around him from behind. “Hey, baby boy.”
“Hey, you,” Kellan said before nuzzling and kissing his neck.
“Get a room,” Griff grumbled playfully.
We all laughed. Poor Griff. Even though he was cool with it, he was still getting used to his longtime best friend being all mushy and in love with his little brother.
“So like, are you saying Chase should take me home and do bad, bad things to me?” Kellan teased Griffin.
“I hate you,” Griff replied.
“How about we end this conversation?” Chase added.
“Speaking of dirty, sexy things,” Josh said, “I have a hookup in Stevensville, so catch you guys later.”
“Do you even know this guy?” Griffin asked him.
“Why do I have to