the dorm at one point that night because some of my things were moved the next morning. He loved playing stupid little mind-fuck games. He either purposely spied on us or overheard our conversation.”
“Why would he blab about my personal business?” Felix asked, even though he knew the answer.
“To cause trouble for us,” Jude replied. “Coop wanted me for himself.”
“Oh, wow. Arrogant much?”
“He hit on me before we started dating, several times during, and again afterward. Coop wanted to break us up in such a horrible way that you wouldn’t give me the time of day, let alone allow me to defend myself.”
Jude sounded so sincere, and Felix had been aware of Coop’s crush on Jude. Bile surged upward, but Felix swallowed it back down. He’d had his own suspicions about Jude’s roommate. He’d shoved them aside every time they crept into his psyche. It was safer for Felix to believe Jude had betrayed him than to doubt himself.
Or maybe it was just easier.
Had he played so willingly into Coop’s plan? Had it worked? Did Jude turn to his roommate after they’d broken up? Felix’s mouth went as dry as the Sahara, and his throat burned like he’d chased a shot of moonshine with a flaming marshmallow. It hurt to breathe. Felix took a long drink of sweet tea, the ice-cold liquid momentarily extinguishing the hellish fire.
“Did you take Coop up on it?”
“Hell no. Even if I hadn’t been hung up on you, I wouldn’t have turned to Coop. I got a different roommate after my freshman year.”
“No,” Felix said, shaking his head. “It’s too convenient.”
“Are you saying that because you’d prefer I was the enemy, or do you actually believe I intentionally hurt you?” Jude moved around the table and took Felix’s face in his hands. “I didn’t betray your confidence, but I still failed you because I hadn’t earned your trust. The man standing in front of me now would demand more evidence, but the boy I worshiped hadn’t discovered his worth yet.”
In such proximity, it was impossible to dodge the emotional grenade Jude lobbed at him. Felix could step back and break their physical link, but fourteen years apart hadn’t severed their emotional bond. What would a few feet of separation do for him now?
Felix opened his mouth to respond, but the only thing passing through his lips was a ragged sigh. Jude must’ve taken it as a sign that he was getting through to Felix because he pushed on.
“I’m sorry I didn’t fight harder back then. I never should’ve given you three years to shore up your defenses against me. If I could go back in time and do it all over again, I would. I’d give us back the years we lost. Felix, I…” Jude briefly closed his eyes and took a deep breath. When their gazes collided again, all Felix saw was the same kind of longing he felt deep down in his soul.
Fuck, I want to believe.
Jude hadn’t been the only one to take the path of least resistance. Hurting and doubting was easier than trusting and trying. Felix’s lonely heart urged him to have faith and lean toward Jude. That’s all it would take on Felix’s part—a mere inch of forward momentum, and Jude would do the rest.
“I let my broken heart and wounded pride steer the ship back in college,” Jude said, his yearning resonating with every syllable. Jude gently pressed his lips to Felix’s but didn’t linger or attempt to deepen the kiss. “The man standing in front of you realizes he should’ve fought harder for you back then. I’m prepared to wage a fierce battle now.”
Felix swallowed hard. Many people had taken him head-on, a few had battled beside Felix, but no one had fought for him.
“No one I know has better instincts than you do, Ace. Listen to them.” Jude dropped his hand and took a step back. “I think my five minutes are up. Shall I stay or go?”
Everything Felix had wanted and denied himself was right there for the taking. Which instinct should he call upon at this moment: fight or fuck? He’d been fleeing from his feelings for this man for far too long.
Felix fisted Jude’s dress shirt and dragged him the few feet separating them. He slammed his lips against Jude’s sinfully beautiful mouth. Felix wasn’t capable of the tenderness and finesse Jude had just exuded. Lust raced through his veins, heightening his awareness into a symphony of senses.
Jude’s gasp of surprise turned into