he gave in to it, he would end up doing anything for her.
Even betraying a nation the way he’d done years ago.
He couldn’t do that. He couldn’t give in. Which meant there was only one option, only one choice. The same choice his father had always given him.
Son or heir? Brother or crown? Love or country?
He chose the throne. He always chose the throne.
Adonis shoved himself away from the woman on the bed, rolling off it and getting to his feet. His blood rushed through his veins, his pulse loud in his head. He couldn’t get enough air.
‘Adonis?’ Her voice was soft and he could hear concern in it. Concern for him.
He turned and there she was, sitting up on the bed, completely naked, her hair around her shoulders and gleaming softly in the dim light of the room. Concern shone in her face, because that was the kind of woman she was. Unselfish and giving. Honest and open.
A woman he couldn’t allow himself to have, no matter how badly he wanted her.
His emotions could put an entire nation in danger and he couldn’t allow that. And, since he hadn’t been able to resist her, the only thing he could do was send her away.
As his brother had been sent away.
There were tears in her eyes. ‘You’re going to send me away, aren’t you?’
Of course she knew. She could read him like no one else. She could read every thought in his head.
‘I have to,’ he said, because there was no point in denial.
‘Are you going to tell me why?’ Her chin took on a determined slant. ‘But don’t feed me the same lies your father told you. I don’t believe them.’
Pain crawled through him, aching and raw, his need for her tightening his fists and eating at his heart. ‘Because I love you.’ The words weren’t a blessing. They were a curse.
Shock flickered over her lovely face and then came joy, lighting her up like a Roman candle. She threw aside the sheet, sliding from the bed, apparently not caring that she was naked. Her skin glowed like pearls, her eyes like fine silver, glittering and precious as she came to him.
But he threw up a hand, stopping her in her tracks. He couldn’t let her get close, otherwise he would break. And he wasn’t going to break, not again. ‘But I can’t love you, Anna,’ he said harshly. ‘That’s why you have to go.’
A fierce expression shone in her face. ‘If you can’t love me, then don’t. I didn’t ask you to. Just don’t send me away.’
Of course his little nun would protest. Except this was the best decision for her too. He could cut out this love he felt; he could survive its loss. But she wouldn’t. She was an orchid, in need of heat and light and care, and there was only darkness and coldness where he was. She would end up withering and dying, and she deserved more than that.
‘No,’ he said, his voice icy. ‘Regardless of whether you asked for love or not, you need it, Anna. You cannot survive without it.’
‘That’s not true—’
‘Tell me I’m wrong, then. Tell me you haven’t been searching your whole life for someone who will love you the way your mother didn’t. The way the nuns in your convent couldn’t.’
She flushed, her eyes glittering. ‘What does that matter? I don’t have to get that love from you.’
‘Then where will you get it? From whom? From Ione? That’s a child’s love. What about at night, when you want someone to hold you—’
‘Don’t make this about me,’ she interrupted fiercely. ‘This is about you. You want love, Adonis. You want it so badly, but you won’t let yourself have it. You won’t let yourself take it.’ Her eyes glowed so bright, like stars. ‘I love you. And I’ll wait for you. I’ll wait as long as it takes for you to realise that you can have what you want—joy, laughter, happiness... Everything you never had, everything you want, it’s yours.’
He did want it. He wanted it so badly that if he moved, even a step, it would be to take her in his arms.
She will fail you in the end. They all fail you...
And that was true, wasn’t it? His mother had put her husband first and his father his throne. They hadn’t cared about what happened to him. No one had.
He’d told himself Xenophon had only been trying to make him into a better king, helping him to protect