happen for you and Rhys?” Gina’s gaze was challenging.
A thousand reasons why it couldn’t happen for her and Rhys circled her mind.
Because I’m me.
Because life doesn’t work like that.
Because it would be too perfect. Too much.
“Sometimes you have to take a leap of faith. You are the gutsiest woman I know. You can go on this journey with Rhys. I know you can. Give yourself a chance to be happy.”
Charlie shook her head, but there was no conviction behind the gesture. “I don’t know. I don’t know what I want. I need to think about this…”
Gina didn’t say anything and when Charlie finally met her eyes, she saw understanding there.
Gina knew she was lying. She knew what Charlie wanted. She also knew Charlie was too scared to reach out for it.
“I love you, C,” she said simply.
Charlie’s chest squeezed all over again and she blinked rapidly. “I love you, too.”
Her voice sounded rusty. How long had it been since she’d dared to say those words to another human being?
Gina’s phone beeped, the sound incredibly loud and unnaturally bright in the small space. She checked the display.
“Shit. I have to go in. There’s a problem with the oysters we ordered for tomorrow’s wedding.” She looked at Charlie. “Are you okay? Do you want me to come over after work?”
“I thought you were seeing Spencer tonight.”
“I can see him another time.”
Charlie smiled faintly, touched by her friend’s loyalty and concern. “I’ll be fine. I need to do some thinking, anyway. Sort a few things out.”
“Okay.”
They said their goodbyes, then Gina slid from the car with a wave and headed inside.
Charlie drove home, Gina’s words whirling in her mind.
Her friend thought she was brave. The gutsiest woman she knew. She also thought Charlie was lovely and funny and smart and interesting. Gina wanted Charlie to take a leap of faith. To believe that all the things she wanted in her heart of hearts were possible.
That Rhys might be attracted to her in the way she was attracted to him.
That they might have a future.
That he might fall in love with her, the way she was sure she could fall in love with him.
It wasn’t until she climbed the stairs to her apartment that she realized she’d been frowning the entire drive. She lifted a hand to her forehead, easing the muscles with her fingertips.
She didn’t have to make any decisions today. It wasn’t as though Rhys was going to burst in the door right now and try to kiss her again. She had time to mull over her friend’s words. To try to take on board what Gina had said.
Charlie walked into the study and her gaze went straight to the dark corner where she’d shoved the box from the hospice, drawn like iron filings to a magnet. She still hadn’t gotten around to unpacking it. Had been avoiding it, if she were honest.
She strode across the room and dropped to her knees and pulled the box toward herself. She closed her eyes, trying to imagine what she would find inside. Preparing herself.
Some papers, maybe. Some books. Possibly her father’s old transistor radio.
She opened her eyes and folded back the flaps and peered inside. Two pairs of folded pajamas sat on top—plain, serviceable blue cotton. She pulled them out, resting them on her knees. The weight felt wrong and she delved between the two tops and slid free an old metal picture frame with a black-and-white shot of her parents on their wedding day. It was the same photograph that had graced her father’s bedside table all her life and she wasn’t surprised that he’d taken it to the hospice.
She studied her mother’s face, a small, pale oval with dark eyes and hair and a bright, hopeful smile, and felt only the same dull, distant ache that she always experienced when she thought of her. It was impossible to truly miss or grieve someone you’d never known. Her gaze shifted to her father, very upright and proud in his dress uniform. He looked impossibly young. She could see her own reserve in his expression.
They looked happy. Expectant. As though they were ready for life’s next adventure. Sadly, her mother had only lived another two years before she’d bled out after a difficult labor and delivery.
The silver frame was tarnished and Charlie took a swipe at it with her sleeve before placing it on her desk. Perhaps she’d buy a new frame for it sometime.
She turned back to the box. Her next find was