kiss you.”
Charlie made a dismissive gesture with her hand. “Under any other circumstances, Rhys wouldn’t even look twice at me, but we’re trapped in this situation. I don’t want to be some kind of consolation prize. I don’t want to be convenient.”
“You are not a consolation prize, Charlotte Long, and you are definitely not convenient. You are a beautiful, smart, capable, resourceful, funny woman. If I was a man, I would give Rhys a run for his money. I’d make him fight for you.”
Charlie shook her head, instinctively rejecting her friend’s words. Gina was being kind. It was what she did. Telling Charlie what she thought she needed to hear.
“You don’t need to pump me up. I know how the world works. I’m not stupid.”
“You have no idea how the world works. Not if you think I’m flattering you without cause and if you think Rhys would kiss you just because you happen to be the woman he’s with at the time.” Gina looked a little angry, her face flushed with color.
“Maybe we should talk about this another time,” Charlie said. “You sounded busy when I called. I don’t want to keep you from your stuff.”
Gina studied her, her gaze sharp, assessing. “You know, I was scared spitless of you when we first met at recruit training. You were so bloody cool and reserved and determined. No one was as tough as you. Remember when you cut your hand on that can of stew when we were on a training exercise? I would have screamed for a chopper to take me to the nearest hospital, but you merely wrapped it up and told everyone you were fine.”
“I was fine.”
“You needed five stitches when we got back to base.”
“I was still fine.”
“I thought you were the bravest person I’d ever met. I used to feel like such a wimp every time I got scared or tired. I’d look at you and tell myself that if you could do it, so could I.”
Charlie frowned. That wasn’t how she remembered recruit training. She’d been terrified of failure. It wasn’t until later—once she understood that the army had been her last, desperate bid to win her father’s love and approval—that she’d understood why.
“I was scared all the time, too,” she said.
“I know. I just worked that out.”
Charlie rubbed at the thin white scar on the back of her left hand, the legacy from that incident during training.
“Tell me what you’re afraid of now, Charlie,” Gina said, her voice very soft.
Charlie remained silent, staring at her scar.
“Is it too hard? Or are you afraid that if you start, you won’t be able to stop?”
Charlie’s gaze shot to her friend’s face. Gina watched her steadily. Patiently.
Charlie’s chest was tight. Everything in her told her to open the door and walk away from this conversation she never should have initiated. She should have done what she always did—circle the wagons, protect herself and wait for the storm to pass, for whatever had happened between her and Rhys to blow over.
After all, there was no risk of rejection if you didn’t put yourself out there in the first place.
“I’m not brave. Not by a long shot.” The words came from her gut, raw and honest.
“How about we suspend the value judgments for a few minutes? How about you let yourself be a human being for once?”
Charlie’s throat got tight as she stared at her friend, as though a lifetime of repressed fears and thoughts and feelings had suddenly rushed up all at once, wanting out. Wanting to be free.
Ever since she was very young she’d kept her own counsel, grieving her personal failures in private. While she was growing up, her father had been distant, disengaged. Later, as an adult she’d never had a truly trusted confidante.
But now Gina was inviting her to share, offering her friendship and understanding and empathy. Offering to know all of Charlie, and promising not to turn away, no matter what she revealed. She took a deep breath. Gripped her hands together tightly.
“What if I fall in love with him and he doesn’t love me back?”
CHAPTER TWELVE
CHARLIE’S VOICE SOUNDED small and choked. Gina took her hand, her face creased with sympathy.
“Everyone takes that risk when they fall in love, Charlie. Everyone.”
But Charlie knew that some people were better at being loved than others. At being lovable. Some people simply had the knack for it. Gina and Rhys, the whole of Rhys’s family… But not Charlie. She’d always had to work hard to be