simply nature telling us that we are compatible for producing children. Nature isn’t concerned with how we feel about doing that. Anything more, love and trust… respect… is up to us—if we should wish it.”
Then what was this feeling right now? I stiffened.
“An initial attraction to you and an undeniable drive to move through the seven meets is the only part triggered by the mating call,” he continued. “The rest is all me and all you.” Sascha’s hands moved. “My hands sit perfectly at the curve of your hips.” His breath hitched. “My hands nearly circle your waist. Breasts I’ll never stop paying homage to except for the rest of your body tearing at my attention. Fuck, if you were mine, I’d never get anything done.”
Warmth pooled between my legs, and my chest rose.
Now was the time to step away.
Sascha pulled me firm against his body.
I looked up.
“The slope of your neck when you submit,” he growled low, “the angle of your jaw when you don’t. Your lips, beautiful wolf. Made for kissing.”
Logically, I knew a waterfall was pouring in a torrent at our back, but I could only hear the beat of his heart and mine. I could only smell the new way our scents tangled together.
“Sascha—”
“Nature does not care about such things,” he said in a ragged voice. “Nature is not romantic. It is cold and clinical. None of what I’ve just described is necessary for the job that nature wants us to fulfil. My attraction grows of my own accord, as does my respect for your mind, and my awe of your heart.”
This was too much. “It’s pointless.”
Why doesn’t he hate me?
I’d worked against him from almost the first moment. This thing between us was doomed.
With all my strength, I stepped back. “Okay. Just. Let’s cool it.”
Sascha’s jaw clenched. “You feel it too. We wouldn’t feel this connection if you’d already decided against me. We wouldn’t feel better when we touched. You wouldn’t have felt a small version of the heat after scenting me for the first time. Even though you denied me, your mind and body must accept me on some level. Otherwise, you wouldn’t have needed that gratification.”
What? Was that true?
I took another step back. “I don’t feel where you are at all times though. If I was really into this, then I’d have that.”
“You weren’t a wolf until recently. That could have altered things. Regardless, part of you finds me acceptable. That’s enough for me.”
I snarled at the slight decaying pine scent. He wanted all of me. “I’ve done nothing but push you away. Openly. To your pack and to you. Why haven’t you decided against me?”
I couldn’t put more distance between us without going for a swim.
Sascha crowded me against the ledge but didn’t touch me again.
“You wouldn’t push so hard if you didn’t feel something. I’d rather work with love, but if love can become hate, then hate can do the reverse too. And the words Greyson once said to you are right, little bird.”
This was too much. I pressed a hand against my cheek. “I don’t remember.”
“If the world wasn’t between us, we’d already be in each other’s arms. Our situation keeps us apart.”
I couldn’t say if that was true or not, but he was right about the world between us.
It was like a bucket of water over my heat. “Exactly. One of us loses Grids in the end. This doesn’t have a happy ending. So why bother?”
He gripped my hand and gently tugged it away from my cheek. “Is that why you’re holding back? You’re trying so hard it kills me to watch. Always trying so hard, little bird, for everyone but yourself.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” I glared at him.
“Trying hard for your mother. Trying hard for your father. Trying hard for your sister and tribe. At which point have you tried hard for yourself?”
I set my jaw.
“I’ll tell you, shall I?” he whispered, gaze settling on my lips. “It was when you played at The Dens. Before you knew what I was.”
There should be too many elements to our combined smell to make it appealing, but the aroma made me dizzy. He said nature gave us the urge to go through the meets. That it didn’t make us like each other or feel more than initial attraction. So our scent made my mouth water because of me.
This wouldn’t be happening if part of me didn’t accept him. Sascha had said as much, and I’d smelled the truth in