of juggling. And now my company’s growing faster than I can keep up with for the hours I can put into it. I just signed a huge corporate account that’ll keep me busy for the immediate future, and Google’s looking at me to be in charge of their team-building adventures. They want me to take their executive team to Madagascar as a test.”
She smiled, unbelievably proud of him. “Congrats, that’s huge. How much of this does your dad know?”
“None of it.”
She blinked. “Wait, so you’ve known how you felt for . . . five years, and you haven’t said a word?”
“I’ve tried to say many words.”
“Okay, but now you’re just going to drop the bomb on him here that the status quo no longer makes you happy and that’s it, you’re out? You walk away without looking back?”
He let a stunned beat of silence go by before asking quietly, “Why do I have the feeling we’re no longer talking about me and my dad, but about your mom?”
She covered her face. “I’m sorry. I’m not judging you. I’m . . . confused.”
He pulled her hands down, forcing her to look at him. “By this?”
“Yes.” She searched for the right words. “For me, happiness isn’t jumping off a cliff. For me, Vacation Happiness isn’t real.”
“Everything we do is real, Hannah. It’s all a part of life.”
“My life isn’t like yours.”
“I know.”
She looked at him, chest aching. “At the end of the day, we’re two very different people who want very different things out of life. Which is why I left six years ago.”
“And here I thought you ran because you were scared.”
This had her sucking in a breath because . . . well, because it was actually accurate. She could still remember making love with him for the first time that Christmas. The next morning he’d sat up, said he was going to go explore the world and wanted her to go with him. Essentially, he’d wanted her to give up her scholarship, her internship . . . everything. On a whim.
But she’d known she couldn’t maintain a relationship and get where she wanted to professionally, where she needed to go. She wanted stability and a steady future, unlike the one she’d had growing up with parents who’d each had their own agenda. “Not all of us have the luxury of doing whatever we want.”
“It’s a choice, Hannah. I work hard, but I also want to live hard, and I don’t see why I can’t do both.”
“You make it sound so simple.”
“Because it is,” he said.
“It’s not like I don’t choose to be happy,” she said. “But it’s not what drives me. My work drives me.”
He looked at her for a long moment. “Maybe you should tell me what’s going on at work. What is it about this case that has you and your boss working around the clock?”
Once upon a time they’d told each other everything. Just as once upon a time, they’d been magic together. If that hadn’t changed—and given the sheer magnitude of their chemistry, it hadn’t—then she could tell him anything. She knew that. But this . . . this was going to hit him hard. “Are you sure?” she asked. “It might be difficult to hear.”
His eyes held her, serious, solemn. “Lay it on me.”
“I’m advocating for a patient who needs her fifteenth surgery on her heart. She’s four. Her insurance company refused to approve the surgery because there’s only a forty percent chance of her survival. But to her parents, forty percent is everything.” She met his gaze, knowing she was telling him a story his family had also been through. “She needs the surgery to live, James.”
He got to his feet and walked to the water.
Her gut sank as she took in the breadth of his shoulders and the weight on them. Because Jason had died according to this exact scenario—waiting on insurance approval.
Chapter 6
James stood at the water’s edge looking out at . . . nothing. Normally just the soothing sound of the waves lapping at the shore would lower his heart rate and blood pressure, but not this time. His heart was pounding in his ears, the blood rushing through his veins. Because of Jason, yes. But also for Hannah. Here he’d always believed she’d misunderstood him, but he’d been the one to misunderstand her.
She came up at his side, her bare feet sinking into the wet sand, her loose brunette waves blowing around her face.
“I had no idea,” he said quietly.